We Do Get It Right Eventually

Unless you've been a sixth grade girl, you would not believe the minefield that is Emma's classroom.  Wow.  Girls can be really mean.  Thankfully Emma's been uninvolved in all of this at the moment but there's the girl who invited every girl except one to her birthday party.  The girl who designated a certain day as the day everyone was to be mean to another girl.  The girl who tried to convince another not to let anyone else sit by them at lunch.

It's a wonder any of them have the courage to wake up in the morning and head off to school.

I want girls everywhere to know though, there's hope.  The Girl Wars that are waged subside.  And eventually, exquisite friendships emerge.

For all our trouble in being kind to each other, we ultimately figure it out as adults. 

For example, here's my weekend:

Saturday morning Jill and I took our girls to be tested for class placement next year.  While we waited for them we chatted with each other in a little coffee shop.  We talked about our children, our husbands, our irrational fears, what kind of trees we want to plant and vacations.  I am enjoying the process of making a new friend.  Jill is interesting and kind and entertaining.

Later in the morning I slid into the seat next to Debbie at Braeden's basketball game.  We chatted about our boys and basketball.  She ran for ice when a player fell and was hurt.  We talked a little about our families and our hopes for them.  Debbie and I mostly visit when we're shoulder to shoulder at a sporting event but it's always a pleasure.

That night, Janet and Eric took Adam and me to dinner for our birthday.  It was deeply satisfying to spend an evening with our friends.  We don't see nearly enough of each other with our busy lives but it doesn't matter.  It's kind of like when I get together with my sisters.  I don't need to explain myself at all to Janet.  She knows.  She understands my fears and insecurities.  She tolerates my follies and I know she is on my side.  Always.

Sunday Debbie spoke in church.  I marveled at my wise and strong friend.  There is a lot more to her than someone who's fun to chat with during a basketball game.

Then Stephanie, my vivacious and talented confidant who I've spent hours walking and talking with along the mean streets of our neighborhood, stood up in church to sing with a group of men who, like her, had served missions in Brazil.  (They were singing in honor of an earnest nineteen year old who's heading there in a few weeks.)  She beautifully sang in Portuguese, her talent and charisma shining, and I saw a glimpse of the force for good she must have been years ago in Brazil.  I'm proud to call her my friend.

In Relief Society, I found myself surrounded by women I love.  Jan leaned over with money for Emma and the overpriced cookies she's selling at school.  Jennifer leaned over and to talk to me about scouts.  Becky tapped me on the shoulder from behind and told me happy birthday this week in case she forgot to tell me later.  JoLyn caught my eye and waved her hand in the air with raised eyebrows.  Would I lead the singing? I nodded.  I'd do just about anything JoLyn asked and I love having non-verbal conversations with people like that.

It means you get each other.

So if I could send a message to sixth grade girls everywhere, it would be this.

It gets better.

A lot better.

Girls are not always so great at being friends.  Women are.