When I was pregnant with Braeden I felt like an anomaly because I was so big and conspicuous. One day it occurred to me that every single person on the earth comes into the world in the exact same way...with a pregnancy. The mother likely feels awkward and pronounced.
(I still felt uncomfortable.)
As I think about the loosening that is motherhood, the slipping away and growing up of my children, I feel a hollowness that seems unique. Then it occurs to me that every single person on the earth eventually leaves their mother.
I feel confused that something so life changing, this whole raising children thing that alters every aspect of life, is incredibly ordinary.
How do all these mothers survive? First your baby is literally, not figuratively, part of you. Then they live in a different state.
My children are all pointing in separate directions this summer. Mark simply wants to be released to run with the pack of neighborhood boys. Braeden is spending time at the pool first in training and soon in lifeguard volunteering. He has scout camps.
And then there's Emma. My girl who used to stay in her room, deep in a book, is on the move.
A week ago, her grandma Geri gave her an invitation:
Geri surprised Emma with a trip to Atlanta and Florida. They're leaving next week. Totally without my consent, Emma has become this sturdy independent girl that will fly across the country and have a marvelous time.
She'll also go to her first Girls' Camp this summer. For the first time she's going to be away on extended stays, independent of our immediate family, and I'm quite sure she'll handle it all just fine.
A few days ago, I heard chatter from our deck. I looked out the window and Emma and Hannah and Paisley (Jill and Stephanie's daughters) were sitting on Adirondack chairs, their flip flop clad feet were propped up on a small table, long legs stretched out. They were munching on Popsicles and looking for all the world like quite grown up young ladies.
This growing up. It's wonderful and terrible and startling all at once.
Mostly startling.
1 comment:
I'm going to cuddle my boys a little bit extra tomorrow. I know they'll be as big as your kids one day and I really do look forward to it, but will any of those travelers let you cuddle them when they home? Oh how I will miss the cuddles!
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