“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
I am going to the Department of Licensing. First thing.
(cue scary, discordant music)
It will free me up for more pleasant pursuits. It's spring break. My kids are home. Life is good.
(it will be better after the live frog)
Also, happy birthday to my dear mother. I'm glad you were born and then I'm glad I was born, to you.