Ready or not

The other day I mused to Mark, "What would I do without you?"

He said,  "Probably cry all day."  (Poor kid, no self esteem.)

The only good part about school starting is homeschooling Mark.  It makes me excited and fills a creative need and provides a challenge.

The really rotten part about school starting is the dark cloud on the horizon that is invisible but there reminding me that Braeden is a sophomore and I have three short years left with him, five years with Emma.

How is that possible?

I am grateful that they will have the opportunity and ability to go out on their own someday.  I am.

Can you be grateful for something you dread?  Apparently.

It occurs to me that I can be melancholy about all of this...or not.  It won't change anything either way.  So yesterday when we took a hike, I just enjoyed our children.

I also enjoyed the scenery which, it must be said, is spectacular. On perfect days like this, I think the rain is not so bad...it means all these trees get a drink.

 

I soaked it in (the sunshine and the children) and tried not to think about it being the last. Day. Of. Summer.

Years ago, as she was preparing for her youngest and fifth child to graduate from high school, I asked a friend how she could possibly cope.

She said, "They have a way of preparing you."

I see glimpses of that from time to time.  Sometimes my teenagers are self-centered and cheeky and demanding enough that I just want to say go away.  But they're going to have to act like that a lot more to get me prepared to let them go.