Why I am doing this

Lately I've been working on getting Braeden's doctor appointments in order as he is getting his mission papers in order.  (And it's a pain because I invariably set up the appointments for times that don't work for him but when I asked him earlier if he had conflicts, he didn't. Sigh.)

It occurred to me, while I was sitting on hold with a doctor's office, that I am really shooting myself in the foot here.  I'm helping this process along.  This is a process that will rip my heart out and I'm working towards its success?  I feel like the wiser thing would be to sabotage the whole thing, but I'm helping him.

Am I crazy?

But here's the thing, I know that we have a prophet.  I know that he is inspired by God and I know that when he says these boys should go and serve, it is true.  I sustain the prophet; I'll send my son.

Here's the other thing: my friends.  These glorious women with their glorious sons are my inspiration.

Here's Janet welcoming David home.  Such a happy and wonderful time. Such pure mother love.  

I want that.  I want to welcome my boy back.  I want to throw my arms around him and tell him, "Well done!"

And then there's this picture:

Stephanie and Dillon

That look of pure joy on Stephanie's face.  I told Braeden that there was nothing he could do in the next two years that would bring that kind of joy to my face, except serve a mission.

I know that Braeden will help people.  He will teach them that God loves them and he will help them to be happier.

And when I need to remember why in heaven's name I am helping this process along (this rip the heart right out of my ribcage process), I'll remember those smiles on my dear friends' faces. 

I can do this!