Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Thelma time table

Yesterday at physical therapy I asked the college student who is an assistant there if he felt like the world was a dangerous place after working there, where everyone they meet is injured.  He laughed and said no.  Then he thought about it and said, "Maybe."  He said that about 40% of the people who come in were involved in a car accident.  The others are all either there because they slipped on ice (me!) or were hurt skiing.

I never realized the Ski Utah slogan around here was a marketing plan for physical therapists.

When the physical therapist was cruelly wrenching gently stretching my knee, I said, "That hurts."  Sometimes when I say something hurts he stops immediately or changes the exercise.  Sometimes, like yesterday, he looks at me like that's an interesting, but wholly irrelevant, observation.

I don't think I'm a very good patient.

Or a very patient patient.

I asked him how much longer I would 1) have to wear the leg brace and 2) have to come to physical therapy.

He asked, "How long ago did you injure your knee?"

"A month," I said.  An eternity.

He said, "Well, it's usually about 6-8 weeks.  Maybe three months."

I think my face must have registered dismay, horror, disappointment because he said, "I mean it will be that long until you're totally back to normal.  It's healing, just not on the Thelma time table."

And there it is.

The Thelma time table.

If the entire world would adopt the Thelma time table, that would be a good thing.

Will you at least consider it, entire world?

(It's a good time table.)

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