1) A watched inbox won't produce an email from your missionary.
(I've thoroughly tested this.)
2) If a toddler is on the loose and wanders by Adam during sacrament meeting, he will grab them.
(He won't even feel sheepish about it.)
3) I'll read a really terrible book if it's for my new book club.
(I want to fit in.)
4) The self checkout line is almost always a mistake.
(But I keep trying anyway.)
5) Middle children won't be ignored.
(You should hear the way Emma slams the door when she leaves in the morning.)