Books I read November 2017

Not many books.  It's been a busy month.

Marriage of Opposites by Alice Hoffman ***

The is book was about Jewish people of French descent living in the Caribbean.  One of the characters was Camille Pissarro, the impressionist.  It was a good book with great characters and setting.  Also it made me want to go look up paintings by Pissarro.

The Secret Life of Fat by Sylvia Tara **

We read this for bookclub.  (The single reason I would ever read this book, especially at holiday time.)  It was a bit interesting at times but mostly I skimmed it (at the car dealership while I was getting my oil changed).

The Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz ***

This book was a modern retelling of Persuasion by Jane Austen.  It's one of my favorites and this was a good retelling.  It's set in Boston among elites who inherited their money.  Her family was sufficiently insufferable, she was practical and the only voice and reason and her long lost love was the hero you expect in a Jane Austen retelling.

When Olivia saved the day

Last night Olivia and family (except Liliana--busy teenagers....) stopped by.  I had been sitting at the table folding Christmas trees and Olivia said, "Let me help you.  Teach me how to do them too."

That is Olivia's personality in a nutshell.

I said, "OK, I'll show you but first you have to tell me what I can do instead of make 90 of these trees."

I explained the whole dilemma to her of no budget for decorations.  She suggested I have people sign up to bring a table decoration.

That had been my first thought but when I considered how many tables, it didn't see doable.  Now, with 32 trees under my belt, she pointed out we could do some tables with trees and some with table decorations people bring.

I think I heard a choir of angels singing.

Marianne had already told me not to do the trees but I think I needed to have already wasted spent a lot of time on them before I would listen to reason.

Sometimes you just need your sisters.

I know, I may be crazy

For the decorations for the ward Christmas party that I got somehow roped into (they asked Adam--he said yes on my behalf), we are doing the decorations.  For the tables, I wanted something really cheap because we don't exactly have a decorating budget.  I saw these darling little origami trees that seemed to fit the bill.  As a bonus, they aren't tall so no one will have to dodge around them to see the person sitting across the table from them.

Three down.

87 to go.

If you're shaking your head right now and wondering what on earth I was thinking, I'm right there with you.

Decorating for days

Literally.

Days.

Of all the things I'm not, a minimalist at Christmas decorating time maybe tops the list.

Friday I went on a cleaning spree.  I took down and boxed up everything autumnal and put everything neutral (all the plants, etc.) on the kitchen table.  Then I cleaned every flat surface, even the high shelf that needs a ladder to reach.

In the afternoon we went to my grandma's to decorate her house for Christmas.  I love doing it.  For one thing, she's super appreciative and makes me feel like a hero (who doesn't like to feel like a hero?).  For another thing, my grandma and me?  Our souls are the same.  I get how she likes things.  Emma and I were decorating her tree and were about to put on the red beads as a garland.  There were two sizes of beads and almost simultaneously, my grandma and I said to put the big beads on the bottom and the small beads on the top.

My favorite ornaments of my grandma's are the vintage glass ones in battered boxes.  They're beautiful and the price tag is still on each box.  I think at $.67, she has her money's worth.

We came home to do a little more decorating around here.  The good news is that our kids are big and strong and tall and can haul boxes up and down stairs at either our house or my grandma's like champs all day long.  The bad news is, they're also busy.  Emma had work and Braeden had a big paper he was working on but they wanted to be involved so we worked around them.

Saturday it was more decorating and sorting and deciding where to put plants.  The last time I wanted to buy a plant, Adam stopped me.  He was wise.

In the afternoon we went to the BYU women's basketball game.  Paisley is fun to watch.  Dillon (who Braeden hadn't seen since before Dillon's mission, so at least 5 years ago) was there and I asked him how he got such a tough little sister.  During one of the breaks between quarters Gavin shot free throws (against Dillon) and Mark rebounded for him.

Mark and Gavin make me happy.

On a sidenote, can we just all decide that cheerleaders should wear shorts?  It seems way more practical.

BYU didn't end up winning but my grandma knew that we were going to watch so she called me while we were driving home and we discussed the game.  She said she'd looked for me on TV and she thought they could have at least showed her granddaughter.

Sunday we finished up with the tree.  Three of Emma's friends came to join us for dinner and fudge making and tree decorating.

I'm a little bossy about tree decorating.  I told Adam that I hoped I wasn't a pain when we had guests helping us.  Adam said, "Well don't be."

OK then.

I held my tongue and then rearranged a lot of ornaments after everyone was gone.

Peter, Emma, Vanessa and Omar

Peter is straight up amazing on the piano.  He played Christmas songs (with lots of extra chords and embellishments) and we sang.

This is what is on the piano.

That's Adam on Santa's lap when he was a baby.  No wonder we had such cute babies.

I bought this in Dinan, France. (Well, Emma did all the talking with the shopkeeper and I just handed over my credit card at what seemed like the appropriate time.)

Here's the living room tree, with Lars and the biggest pukki standing guard:

We got this little friend at a Finnish store at Pike Place Market in Seattle last year.

Scandinavian Christmas speaks to my soul.

A happy Thanksgiving

So far so good on the cougar front.  We did see enormous tracks in the mud when we took a Thanksgiving afternoon walk though.

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Busy.  Exhausting.  Fun. I didn't take enough pictures. (It wasn't in the Thanksgiving Binder to take pictures apparently.)

I did take this shot of our table the night before:

The table is my favorite part of hosting a dinner.  Followed by dessert.

It was fun to have a house full of college kids.  Mark was the only one who has never gone to BYU.  The food all turned out pretty well.  Towards the end of the preparation, when it was all sort of coming together, I was a little surprised that it had actually worked.

There's magic in a binder with page protectors.  (I'm not saying it was the page protectors that made it happen, but I'm not saying I could have done it without them.)

We went to Coco last night.  Wow.  I cried.  And also I think there should be a link to Family Search at the end of that movie.

I love Thanksgiving.  There are many things to be grateful for in my life, but mostly I'm grateful for my people.  I'm grateful for my grandma, the grande dame of Thanksgiving.  She always created magic and on a scale that I can only aspire to.  I'm grateful for my mother and mother-in-law.  I thought about them yesterday and all the work they have done to create wonderful Thanksgiving meals I've been able to enjoy.

I'm grateful for Adam.  He not only washed a million dishes (ballpark figure) over the last few days, but he can make everything fit in the fridge.  He might be a wizard.  I'm grateful for Braeden.  He brings a party wherever he goes.  He's always up for anything and his sunny disposition and booming laugh make everything better.  I'm grateful for Emma.  It's so nice to have a girl.  When I mentioned nude nail polish the other day she was the only one who knew what I meant.  Everyone else sort of sputtered "what?!?" and Emma and I looked at each other with solidarity.  Also she is a great consultant on everything (table linens for example) and helpful in the kitchen.  I'm grateful for Mark.  He gamely goes along with whatever is happening.  When our guests arrived yesterday, in the first awkward minutes when you try to get a disparate group together, I told Mark to go find someone to talk to who was by themselves.  And that's exactly what he did.

And now for Black Friday!  (It should be called Red Friday around here because it's when we start opening up all the Christmas boxes.)

I may never leave my house again

Mahogany Ridge is our neighborhood.

Also in our neighborhood, we have two separate pie nights the week of Thanksgiving.  (Maybe that's why the cougar came?)

Last night at Pie Night I, someone wondered how the peacocks (that also roam the neighborhood) would fare with a cougar afoot.

It's a jungle out there.

(If I go silent the next few days on here, it's because I'll be busy + soaking up all the time with our kids I can.  I just didn't want you to think that I'd been attacked by a cougar.  Also, Happy Thanksgiving!)

Yin and yang

Saturday morning I woke up and saw this text from Adam on my phone:

He had talked about it the previous day.  He said there was a meteor shower that would peak at 2:00 AM.  I said I couldn't think of very many things I would be up for at 2:00 AM and stargazing was definitely not on the list.  Sounds cold.

I had no idea they had gone though because I was sound asleep.  Adam and Emma are night owls.  I don't know if they can stay up late because they have the ability to sleep in or they sleep in because they have the ability to stay up late.  Whichever talent they possess, our boys and I don't share it.  They both could sleep in a little as teenagers but they're up pretty early.

Saturday morning I also got an early phone call--in the 8:00 hour.  As I was going to find my phone, I thought, "It must be Braeden, no one else would call me this early."

And yes, it was Braeden.

*

**

Further proof of opposites attracting:

We are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year.  At last count in the ever changing guest list, we are having twelve people.  Mostly they are our kids' college friends but we've never met a few of them.  I am nothing if not a planner so I have been planning.  I assembled a binder (yes, with page protectors because anything with page protectors makes me happy).  I have a menu, shopping lists, timeline, recipes, plans, plans, plans.

Things ramp up this week and I have tasks to complete every day.  The biggest day will be Wednesday when I bake pies and rolls and set the tables and prep everything.

Last night, Adam and I were talking and he was asking when the kids get out of school.  No one has school on Wednesday.  When Adam realized that, he said, "Hey, maybe we should go to Great Basin National Park that day."

After a stunned silence I said, "Are you kidding me right now?"

"Oh, right.  Never mind."

I mean, hasn't he seen the binder?!?

Grateful Friday

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary.

Edgar Allen Poe

Yesterday was a gloomy day.  It started at 3:00 AM with insomnia and then a little more captured sleep to wake up with a headache.  Lovely.

The weather was overcast and gray.  It was altogether that sort of day.

I decided to light candles and play music.  I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom.  I vacuumed.  In the evening I turned on the lamps.

I started to feel better.  Light is what always makes me feel better.  Wiping the counters I thought about light.  And also Light.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalms 27:1

Mind your towns that start with G

I did my student teaching in Goshen, UT.  Every morning that semester my friends Susan, Jana, Jen and I would drive there in Susan's black car.  Jen would always have a Diet Coke, Jana would have likable angst (it's a winning combination where some people can just shine) and Susan was just Susan.  She was VERY enthusiastic about everything and sometimes would take her hands off the wheel and clap them excitedly.  We had fun together.  They knew I was engaged to Adam before my roommates did.  Even though it was a drive and by the luck of the draw my classmates doing their student teaching in places like Provo didn't have to get up as early as we did, I liked Goshen.

There's a new young couple in our ward and they are on the committee to plan the Christmas party with us.  Adam, who is unfailingly good at making small talk with people, asked her, "Now are you from Goshen?"  (She had mentioned in a talk a few months ago where she was from.)

She scoffed and said no decidedly.  She seemed a little offended that anyone would even think she was from Goshen.  "I'm from Genola," she said.  It was like someone thought she was from Goshen and she was really from someplace like New York City.

Here's the thing about Genola (population 1484).  We used to drive through it on our way to Goshen (population 929) and I didn't even know there was such a place until Tabor told me he had to drop off some livestock in Genola and I said, "Where is that?"

Now I feel like I need to go to Genola again and see what all the fuss is about. Maybe it is THAT much better than Goshen.

Karma

Years ago I was the primary president in our ward.  At ward council, the bishop asked me what I thought about a Halloween carnival for the children as a ward activity.  I said, "I'm not a good person to ask because I don't like Halloween."

He said, "OK, you're in charge of it."

Wait, what?

Then I was YW president and had to go to camp even though I don't like camping.

Now this:  I don't really like ward Christmas parties.  (I know, I'm a terrible person.)  Adam and I were asked to be on the planning committee for our ward's Christmas party this year.

There is a pattern in my life.

So now, I'd just like to put it out there and make it be known.  I would hate new carpet.  I wouldn't like it if a mouse never came in my house again.  I don't like a clean kitchen or getting my oil changed.

Do you think it will work?  I'll let you know.

Family Home Evening

Last night for Family Home Evening, we decided to create a scene from the Book of Mormon out of legos.  We were thinking maybe we'd make a stop motion video.  We decided to recreate Lehi's dream.  We didn't have time to finish, but there will be other Mondays.

When you have a Mark, he's the builder. Adam and I were relegated to sorters.

See that little pile of green and brown legos?  I don't want to brag, but I did that.

While we were sorting, Mark started with making people.  He carefully selected faces for each person and asked our opinions on which face looked more like Lehi or Sam.  Even though Ishmael's family and Zoram aren't mentioned in the dream, Mark made them.  "I think they were there," he said.

And who's to argue with him?

Mark finished the tree and I thought we were done for the night but then he snapped together a rod of iron.

The kid is just good with legos.

There is Lehi, holding a piece of the fruit.

And the takeaway?

Don't be Laman and Lemuel:

Right where I want to be

Last Friday we had lunch with Olivia and Edgar and family.  It was fun.  I like those guys.  My favorite part of the meal was when Edgar asked me if I could keep Olivia quiet and I said I'd been trying for over 40 years to no avail.

Edgar doesn't always say a lot but when he does say stuff it often makes me laugh.  I can't imagine a better husband for Olivia.  (Or dad for those cute Cobian kids.)

We had dinner that night with my mom and Marianne and Liberty and Carolina.  I like those guys too.  They came to watch Emma's choir concert which was so nice of them.  We had tickets for Saturday night so we saw them before and after the concert.

In between, we went to the BYU Women's Basketball game to watch Paisley play.  I think it's the beginning of a new pastime!  Stephanie and Brent were there and I loved sitting next to Stephanie.  Old friends are the very best kind.  You pick up where you last left off and it feels wonderful.  Stephanie just gets me.  We saw Morgan, Emma's friend from Seattle Hill ward days.  She's in the BYU Cougar Band and was there with her trumpet.  We saw Jennie, Emma's friend from Everett 3rd ward days.  Being around all my Everett people makes me miss my old life.  Mark and Gavin were happy to see each other and started talking and continued the conversation they started when Mark was two and Gavin was four.  They are practically brothers.

We loved watching Paisley play!  I was remembering one day years ago when I was watching Paisley and Gavin.  We went to the little park in our neighborhood.  One of the swings was looped over the beam way up high and Paisley shimmied up the pole and grabbed the chain and swung it back over.  Her athleticism was sort of astounding and now she's a college basketball player.  And a pretty incredible one too.  The game was awesome!  With three minutes left BYU was 10 points behind.  They rallied and tied the game and it went into overtime.  (It was a lot for this drama/choir mama to handle.  I'm used to more sedate viewing experiences.)

BYU ended up winning!

The only sad part of this story is that I forgot my phone at home and so didn't take one picture.

Saturday we headed back to BYU to watch Emma's concert.  I cried for several of the songs because they were so beautiful.

And I cry easily OK?

As a bonus we could actually see Emma this time and didn't have to just take it on faith that she was up there.  I love watching her sing.  It's like the whole world has melted away and she just feels the music.

After, we met some of her friends...

...and saw Hayden Call who is from Washington and was in plays with Braeden at GPHS.  He's super talented and always has been.

We went to Wendy's because Mark is apparently in charge.  (He worked so hard to convince us to go there Braeden asked him if he had stock in Wendy's.)  We went to the Wendy's right by campus so it was full of college kids.  One boy didn't have a shirt on which seemed weird.  Isn't there a no shirt no shoes no service rule?  And also, November.  Braeden offered Mark $5 to go up to the guy and give him his flannel shirt that he was wearing over a t-shirt.  I said no.  Mark, ever the mercenary, asked Braeden if he'd give him $10.  "Yes," Braeden said, "Right now, do it."

 Mark asked Adam if he'd match it.  Adam said he would.

"No!" I said.  For one thing I don't like to draw attention to myself (I am pretty much in the wrong family), and for another thing I didn't want Mark to give away his shirt.

"Adam, no," I said again.

Mark said, "Dad, I don't think Braeden and I are getting any more mature.  I think we make you less mature."

Emma said, "That is SO true."

We ate and laughed and did draw attention to us whether I liked it or not.

When we dropped Emma off, I walked up to her dorm with her to help her carry stuff.  When I got back to the car, the boys in the backseat were laughing so hard they were practically hyperventilating.

We dropped Braeden off next and I realized something.  I miss our friends and family in Washington. I do.  I miss who I was there and I just miss the history.  I don't have friends like that here, at least not yet.  But going to BYU and being uplifted by all the goodness there, watching Emma perform, hearing our children laugh together and spending time with our college kids is a blessing.

I'm right where I want to be.

Grateful Friday

Today I'm grateful for mundane things.  Our washing machine broke a few weeks ago.  A repairman came and then ordered a part and then several days later when the part arrived, he came to fix it.

Turned out there was more wrong with it than he originally thought.

So he ordered another part and told us it would be another week.

This was in no way a tragedy, but it was inconvenient!  Thankfully there was a laundromat we could use and there was Adam to carry the heavy baskets full of wet laundry (we dried them at home).

A few days ago, the second part arrived and our repairman fixed it up.

I immediately started washing loads of laundry.  Mark said, "I've never seen anyone so excited to do laundry."

Last night Braeden was here and we were watching the Seahawks game.  The boys took turns snuggling up next to me (Adam was on my other side).  I told Braeden I had washed a shirt he'd left home awhile ago.

He squeezed my shoulder, "Is it nice to have your washer back?"

It really is!  I'm grateful for all the labor saving appliances that make my life easier.  It truly is something of a miracle that you can insert dirty clothes or dishes into a machine, add detergent and press a button and come back later to find the work done.

What a wonderful world!

(It's also nice to snuggle with my boys + Adam.  Also the Seahawks won.)

When a mouse is a blessing

I'm grateful for a little mouse which is weird because I hate mice.

They are terrible.

I would rather have snakes, spiders, mutant ninja turtles, anything in my house rather than mice.

Last week, I was putting something away in the dungeon.  It's the fond name we have for our cold storage room.  (And this time of year, it really is cold.)  Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a mouse dead in a trap.  I couldn't give it a good look because I am too squeamish.  I did what any sane person would do in that situation, I averted my eyes and went in search of Adam.  He feels about mice like I do but he is more of a grown up in these situations.

He headed to the basement to look at the trap.  I stayed in the kitchen.

He said, "You have to come with me."

"Why?" I asked.

"For moral support."

I walked halfway down the stairs but that was all of the moral support I was able or willing to give.

My worst suspicions were confirmed and Adam came upstairs for a bag to deposit the mouse in before throwing it out.

"I love you," I said in an encouraging way.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't make me take care of the mouse," he said.

"I love you 99%," I said.

Then I went upstairs because I didn't want to see the mouse or even the bag holding the mouse.

Our pest control guy came over (we get periodic treatments on account of the tarantulas and the like) and I told him about the mouse.  I confessed my mortal fear of mice and he confessed that he's afraid of frogs.  Frogs?  No judgement though.  When stuff is scary, it is scary.

He inspected the basement and set more traps and was naming all the possible entry points he would inspect.  One of them was under the kitchen sink.

So I went upstairs to clear out beneath the sink.  It was wet and there were the beginnings of mold.  There was also a really slow drip coming from the disposal.

I cleaned it all up and we got a new disposal (which Adam and Mark, the wunderkind, installed).  Getting a new disposal wasn't really a dream come true for us but catching the leak before it caused more damage made me realize the mouse was a blessing.

And I'll take what I can get.

When you're happily married

Last weekend we were playing Codenames with our kids (including extra roommates).  Mark wanted to be on the same team as Braeden and friends but Emma knew enough to stick with Adam and me.  We're pretty much the dream team.  (Not to brag or anything, but yes to brag.)

In Codenames, you say one word that somehow links other words you are trying to get your team to guess.  Because it was Adam, and I was trying to link Canada and bed, I said Coquitlam.

"What?!?" our kids said incredulously.  They had no idea where I was going with that one.

But Adam did.  There is an IKEA in Coquitlam, B.C. and where do you buy beds (if you're us)?  IKEA.

Soul mates.

Then yesterday, we were doing errands and I realized I didn't have a book.  Rookie mistake.  Adam suggested we stop at the library so I could pick up another one.  Who does that?  Adam.  I told him I would try to be quick.

He said, "I'll stay in the car and keep it warm, take your time."

I had no idea how smart I was being when I married that guy.

“I want all of you, forever, you and me every day.” – The Notebook

Brother and sister

Emma and Braeden have three classes together this semester.  I love picturing them meeting up frequently and sharing experiences.

One day in their theater class, someone mentioned to Emma how nice it must be to have a class with your brother.

Another guy said, "Wait.  You're brother and sister?  I thought you were dating."

Emma and Braeden both said, "No."

Recently they were in their American Heritage lab on two sides of the aisle in a debate in a "Constitutional Convention."  They were debating states' rights and American Heritage/Constitutional Convention type things and Braeden and Emma, having years of experience under their belts in adversarial discourse, were really going at it.

Someone asked, "Are you two brother and sister?"

Yes.

Emma said something particularly zingy to Braeden and a guy on her team said, "Retweet."

(I don't know what zingy things Braeden said because Emma is the one who told me the story.)

Later, when a vote was called, Braeden was one of the few still in opposition.  Instead of "nay," he said, "oh, heck nay."

Yep, these are my kids.

Sunday they came for dinner along with Sam and Scott (two of Braeden's roommates).  We were having "experimental turkey."  We are having our own Thanksgiving this year and decided to practice.  Sam and Scott were up for the adventure.  They, like Braeden, have proven they will eat anything.  (Seriously, it is amazing those boys are still among the living.)

The four kids left to go to their various choir practices and the like.

Awhile later, Braeden called because they had been in an accident. That's just the kind of phone call you don't want.

My quick question was answered that they all were fine.  Emma had been driving and we talked to her, we could tell she was rattled.  I was heading out the door for a meeting but Adam headed out to be with our girl.

The other driver was at fault and told the police the same.  No one was injured.  All was well.  Adam sent the boys in his car and he stayed behind with Emma.

When they were done with the police, they drove to Provo too.  Emma told Adam, "I don't know what I would have done without Braeden there."

I'm beyond grateful no one was injured.  I'm grateful they have each other.  In the way of brothers and sisters everywhere, they argue and struggle to share the same car and make each other a little crazy at times.  But when the rubber hits the road (or when another car hits Loki) they have each others' backs.

Siblings were a very good invention.

I'll always have a fond place in my heart for Jack

Mark's play was this last weekend.  The Importance of Being Earnest.  I loved the show when Braeden played Jack four years ago and I love the show still.

And now for the zealous drop of cell phone pictures I took.  I make up for the poor quality by the sheer volume.

The play was double cast so here is Mark with each of the Algernon's (although most of my pictures are with the second cast because my seats were better):

I loved that they were both ginger.

I loved that this Algernon reminded me a little of Jaden who was the Algernon to Braeden's Jack.

They had all the romantic partners the same throughout all the shows.  They were matched for height.  Here's Jack proposing to Gwendolyn:

Mark had the same Lady Bracknell too.  She was played by Braeden's friend Nate's younger sister and she was AWESOME.

Here's Mark in his garb of mourning announcing the death of his poor brother Ernest:

And here he is refusing to shake hands:

During the muffin eating scene, the muffins were so dry the boys really struggled to keep talking.  Braeden was sitting next to me and kept laughing so loud that Mark fought hard to not laugh himself. I kept poking Braeden and telling him he had to be quiet.

I've included this picture mostly because I was so enamored with Lady Bracknell's dress!

Here Mark thinks he's discovered his mother, Miss Prism:

And here is the conclusion where Lady Bracknell accuses  Jack of triviality but he declares, "I've now realized for the first time in my life the vital importance of being earnest."

And they take their bows:

It was great fun to watch.

I love that Braeden and Mark have had this experience to share.

Braeden helped some with the rehearsals because he needed to volunteer for his theater class.  I loved seeing the junior high boys excited to see Braeden and giving him high fives.

Friday night my parents and Tabor's family came to watch.  I'm really terrible at getting good pictures after the show but I did manage to capture Mark with Tabor's girls:

We were grateful they came to watch.  (Tabor and family stayed with us that night.  Tabor and I stayed up way, way, way too late talking.  I'm grateful for brothers and sisters who love me.  Talking to them always heals something in me a little bit.)

Mark, more introverted than Braeden (everyone is more introverted than Braeden), is not sad that the show is over.  He enjoyed it but he's glad to "get his after school" back.

And I'll be happy to see more of him too.

Grateful Friday

When I was visiting teaching in October, the message was "Enfolding with Love those Who Stray."  My companion was giving the message.  She said to me, "You don't know anything about this with your perfect little family, but maybe you will someday."

What?!? (And also that sounded a little ominous.)

Whenever you think someone has a perfect family (no matter the size), you just don't know them well enough.

Today I'm grateful for my inner circle, the people that do know.

Yesterday I had a "playdate" with Janet.  That is code for a phone conversation that is 2 + hours.  We need to schedule it because we need that much time because we need to talk about all the things.

And all the things are our not perfect families.

It's so reassuring to have people you can talk to who you don't give the pat answers to.  How's your missionary?  Great!  How are your children?  SO happy! How are your college kids?  Fabulous!  

It's nice sometimes to give more real answers and to receive more real answers in return.

Marianne called while I was on the phone so I called her back later.

We continued the conversation.  We confided worries and not just worries about our people, worries about ourselves.  Am I doing the right thing?  What is the right thing?  Where is that fine line between doing our best to be helpful and doing too much to be enabling?  Basically we don't want to raise spoiled brats but where's the handbook? Where is the set of instructions?  Who can tell us whether or not we are really messing this whole thing up?

The rules keep changing with each different child and each phase of life but we keep slogging along.  We try to make the right choice when it is before us.

And it is so very wonderful to have people that give perspective and encouragement.

(And my number one provider of perspective and encouragement is Adam.  I'm so grateful for that guy.  Sometimes we look at each other mystified about how to proceed, but sometimes, rarely, we look at each other and think, well that worked!  It gives us the courage to keep trying.)

A working title

On Friday night Braeden came to spend the night because he was going to Mark's rehearsal with him early Saturday.  He got here around 11:00, after a date.  He and Adam stayed up way too late watching Stranger Things.

Saturday morning, Braeden was dragging.  Mark made him a breakfast burrito.  Braeden ate it and between bites, he said, "Mark, do you want to be a hero?"

Mark said, "I am already a hero."

Braeden said, "Will you go downstairs and get my wallet and keys?"

Mark headed off because he's spent a lifetime doing Braeden's bidding.  We all have.

Braeden moaned, "I stayed up way too late."

Then he looked around the kitchen.  Burrito gone, he was still hungry.

I said, "There are fig bars in the pantry."

He looked at the pantry then back at me.

I looked under the table.  "Yep, you have legs."

He sighed.

I said, "I'm not going to wait on you because of your bad decisions."

Braeden laughed.  "That could be the title of a parenting book."

(Then he got up and got himself a fig bar.)

Part of the 45%

According to CNN 10, which we actually watched yesterday morning because Mark got out of bed early enough, Americans spent 9.1 billion dollars on Halloween this year.  45% of Americans don't participate in Halloween so 55% are spending a whole lot of money!

I'm part of the 45%.  I boycott the whole thing.  Blek.

Our children participate.

Braeden has never been one to turn down a costume wearing opportunity.

He sent us these pictures (taken with them standing on the kitchen table in their dorm--that seems ill advised):

Sam is Heman and Braeden is Skeletor.

Then Braeden also sent this:

Apparently in a recent Star Wars movie (Who can remember which one?  My boys, that's who.) C-3PO has a red arm and introduces himself because he is afraid Han Solo won't recognize him with the red arm.

We asked him if people understood his costume.

"A few people did."

Emma and her friends dressed in Harry Potter style.  Of course they did.  Emma is a girl from Slytherin:

Adam asked her who tied the tie and she said she did.  He texted that he awarded 10 points to Slytherin for an exceptional knot.

Mark had some sort of costume in mind (as a Halloween boycotter I hadn't been involved).  On the way to school yesterday I asked him about what he was wearing.  "What is your costume again?"

He said, "Well, I changed my mind and I didn't do what I was planning before."

"So then what are you dressed as?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, "I just look cool."

Apparently this is what cool looks like.

On the way home from school he told me a surprising number of people recognized his costume.

I said, "I thought you didn't have a particular costume..."

He said, "No, I'm Snake from Metal Gear."

Sometimes I'm sorry I ask.

Last night Mark went trick or treating with his friends.  Braeden and Emma couldn't go trick or treating once they were out of 6th grade.  I don't know.  He's spoiled OK?

Then he talked us into staying out later because trick or treating works up an appetite and they wanted to go get food.

"Do you have money?" I asked.

He said, "I have the 'treat yourself' money from Grandma."

You don't have to tell that kid twice to treat himself.