Grateful Friday

Yesterday I was dropping off my students at lunch and one of the aides was managing the lunchroom (which is not a job I envy at all).  She sighed and said to me, "This is the longest week ever."

And it has felt like that.

I haven't slept well and with the weather warming, the students are getting amped up (as opposed to when they were amped up because the weather was cold and we kept having inside recess...).

Testing is upon us and that brings its own stresses and unpleasantness.

I wish I could take away my mother's health challenges.  

There is a lot to be thankful for though.  Here's a quick list:

The weather is gorgeous and trees are blossoming and turning green.  Spring after a long hard winter is here to remind us to have hope.  Nothing lasts forever.

I slept really well last night and feel like I have a new lease on life.

My students, for all their struggles, have improved this year.

I love seeing my former students in the hall.  Some of them hug me, some of them duck their heads shyly and smile, some of them yell my name.  It all adds up to making me happy.

Adam is home and will be for the foreseeable future.  His huge work project is largely done.  

We found out about some good gluten free donuts.  Awhile ago, Mark said that if he didn't have celiac, the first thing he would eat was a donut.  We tried out the gluten free donuts and he loved them.  He said, "These taste so good they scare me.  I'm afraid they have gluten because they're so good."

They didn't have gluten; he didn't get sick.  It's not like a donut is going to change the world, it was just a little thing, but getting my boy a donut kind of made my day.

Talking to QE + videos of her also make my day.  Last night Mark and I FaceTimed them and she zooms around like a bumper car and then grabs the phone and hangs up on us or carries us around on a wild ride around the room and we are here for all of it.  Her blowing kisses could just about save us all.

I continue to love the podcast Follow Him.  I love delving deeper into the New Testament and I feel like I'm learning.

One of my student's preferred mode of transportation across the room is to somersault.  We're working on it.  Yesterday, when I was driving home from school, I saw his mom riding a bike along State Street on her way home from work (she was wearing her clothes from the restaurant where she works).  She was singing for all she was worth.

There is joy to be found.

Boys

 I make students take off their hats and hoods during school.  The hoods are the real battle.  

"But whyyyyyyy?" one of them whined.

"Because."

Days later, when we were working on our old nemesis, opinion papers, I said that they had to have reasons and "because" wasn't a good reason.

A boy said, "But teacher.  Remember when you said we couldn't wear hoods in class 'because'?"

Well, I wasn't writing an opinion essay at the time....

But I said, "Yes.  So I will give you my reasons.  It is not polite or appropriate to wear hoods or hats at school and when you wear a hood, I can't see your face."

I smiled sweetly.

"And I want to see your face!"

Sometimes the more bugged I am, the nicer I act.

Not always though.

The boys want to wear their hats or hoods when they "have a bad hair day," which is 3rd grade code for they rolled out of bed and have major bed head.

The other day a boy took off his hood and he had some wild hair going on.  Another boy teased him and I said, "Oh, I don't know.  I think it looks kind of cool like that." (Because in actuality it doesn't matter at all in the scheme of things if a third grader has bed head.)

Right before recess, he grabbed his scissors, those little student safety scissors that barely cut paper? He lopped off a big hunk of his hair that was sticking up, carried it outside and released it in the breeze.  I didn't say a word.

What does one say in that situation?

***

I have another boy whose behavior was so egregious at recess that he had to miss two recesses per the principal.  I had been in communication with his mother and she is the kind of mother that got down to it.  He came to school with a card for me outlying his apology and his plan for the future.

With a mother like that, the kid will be OK.

Yesterday he was with me during lunch recess.  He said cheerfully, "This is not the longest I've ever had to miss recesses.  In second grade, I had to miss a whole week once."

***

They are third grade boys.

They are good at it.

Girls

I've been negligent on my blog here, but I think Marianne has been too busy to notice.  Monday was a packed day with no margins.  I had LETRS training at school (the last one!  hurray!), I left that early, still logged into Zoom on my phone and went to Mark's endocrinologist appointment.  I had to stay logged in to get credit and you can't turn down the volume all the way or it disconnects from Zoom.  During the appointment, I had an AirPod in one ear and I was listening to the doctor with the other.  Mark's A1C which is a measure of the last 6 months of glucose levels was 6.1, which was the lowest it has ever been.  That was a celebration.  Dr. Swinyard always compliments me and I always deflect it back to Mark.  It is all Mark who manages things.  

Dr. Swinyard leveled his kind eyes on Mark and said, "You are doing a splendid job at something that is really complicated at a hard time of your life."

I could tell that praise mattered to Mark.

I finished my training about the time that was over so I went to my grandma's.  My mom and dad, Aunt Mary, Marianne and Olivia were there and things were underway.  Mary's daughters arrived so it was the girl squad, which was exactly what my grandma would have wanted.  We were her Girls.

Among other things, piles were created for each grandchild and they were numbered and photographed.  At the appointed time, a group text was sent out and everyone selected their first choice and then there were drawings if there were ties.  

We picked out things for the great grandchildren and took a million trips up and down the stairs.  It took discipline to not want everything.  Sometimes there was something I didn't necessarily want, but I didn't want it to go to DI.  This was my grandma's stuff!  It is precious!  But I kept reminding myself that she is not the random casserole dish or knick knack.

I gratefully came home with some things that matter a lot to me.  My grandma's clock was top of my list and a few other really important things too, like some of her plates.  I got the pink floral sheet set that used to be on the bed one of my sisters and I would sleep in.  Someday QE will sleep under those sheets and I'll tell her about my staying at my grandma's.  We also got some furniture and things that will help feather our Starr Valley nest.

I got home late (for me) and didn't sleep well because I was worried about my mom and the Herculean task of it all.  Also, I think it is pretty emotional, the dismantling of my grandma's house.

Yesterday was back at school with students and I don't know if it was the warmer weather or what but it seemed like the entire school was on one. I wish we could harness that energy and give it to the teachers.

After Mark was done with work, we headed to Liberty's with the intention of helping deliver my grandma's piano to her, but we hit every light and they had the piano all moved by the time we got there.  A random kid walking along offered to help which tells you what you need to know about BYU. 

Clarissa was with us too and we picked up a dresser for her (I say we, but I did nothing except chat with my mom) and delivered it and a couch from Liberty (musical furniture!) to Clarissa.

Mark and I also shared our strong opinions about furniture placement.  You can't be my son and not have moved some furniture or have opinions about it.

We ended it all with a lovely dinner at JCWs.

I drove home pretty tired and I told Mark as much and he blasted Eye of the Tiger, which got me home.  In Joan was a bin my mom had given me of a few more treasures from my grandma.  (Including but not limited to some pans for Pleasant Hill.)

It all leaves me feeling pretty grateful.  I'm so grateful to have a grandma I love so much who continues to bless my life and will for eternity.  I'm grateful for my parents and the team they are that have always been  such a support and help to all of us.  I'm grateful for my powerhouse sisters.  They definitely did more of the helping with all the things than I did and I appreciate them.  This darn job of mine takes up my time!  I'm proud to be one of my grandma's Girls and those two sisters of mine elevate the whole group and make it seem like a pretty nice place to be included.

Weekend

Adam was gone most of the weekend and I missed him.  It's harder to have him gone on weekends than during the week, because weekends are Adam time.

Friday was a taxing day.  I sought meetings with everyone who had frustrated me the day before in an effort to smooth things out.  Everything ended amicably and better, but it was still taxing.

I decided to go to Costco on my way home from work.  I was frazzled and I wanted to get it out of the way and then just go home and stare at a blank wall.

Well, Costco wasn't the solo introvert experience I was expecting.  Fridays are jeans day at work and I was wearing an "It's a Great Day to Learn" t-shirt.  Many people commented on it.  "Hey, I'm a teacher too!"  "You're a teacher!" "I like your shirt!"

No more Costco for me after work.

Too people-y.

Saturday I was up early and zipped around energetically getting all my work accomplished.  Then I was done and spent the day on enjoyable pursuits, but I was also kind of lonely.  Next time I'll go slower.

Braeden and Anna and QE called in the evening.  FaceTime is maybe one of the most important things in my life.  I gave her a board book of A Child's Prayer for Easter and it is one of her favorite books now.  I sang the song to her and she looked at the book.  She kept looking at the phone like it was kind of incredible that I knew the words too.

There's a picture of Jesus in the book and she lingers over it and gives a happy little laugh every time she sees it.  I'm not sure what nonbelievers would think about the fact that babies are so drawn to pictures of Jesus.  I noticed it with my own children and now with QE.  They remember Him; they were just there.

Adam woke up in Washington, D.C. on Sunday morning (granted very early) and through the miracle of air travel, made it to church with me at noon.  I was happy to have that kid back in town.

In the afternoon we took a walk with Mark along the Murdock Canal trail and checked out the Lindon Temple progress.  It is right next to the trail and I can't imagine how it has changed the view for the people who live above the trail.  They used to have a vista of the valley and lake and valley and now they have a huge temple.  

Could be worse.

Also, they may need blackout curtains.

We found a baby toy in the couch that QE left there.  I wish we found more toys because that would mean she would come more often.

Clarissa and Emma came over for dinner which is always a highlight.  I gave a little demonstration I had seen on instagram but I adapted it to a gospel message.  And also I made a mess.  We visited and enjoyed each other and played Qwixx while listening to yacht rock because that is the only way to Sunday around here.

Adam leaves for Tempe tonight.  It's a short trip and then he's home for a while.  And I'll be glad for that because I miss him.

Grateful Friday

The baseline at school is my class is something of a zoo.  Yesterday I also was pretty frustrated with adults and that feels worse.  I talked to Adam and both sons and that's a pretty good situation to make me feel better.  Enoch even called me and we chatted a few minutes.

They all listened and gave me encouragement and that helped.

I'm grateful for the people in my life that are the ballast I need.

Here's another thing that shined up the day (before it turned into a dumpster fire).

We got a new third grader, a refugee from Ukraine who doesn't speak English.  He isn't in my class, but I had recess duty and I was watching him interact with some other boys.  The boys were laughing and having a great time and I realized that they were communicating by dancing.  The new boy is the son of world-class ballroom dancers and he clearly has had some dance experience.  He knows some ballet and would stand up on his toes and kick his leg in a graceful arc that was incongruous with an elementary school playground.  The first time he got up on his toes, the boys were very excited and said, "Like Michael Jackson!" and they all tried to imitate him.

One of the boys did some hip hop moves and the new boy did a pretty good imitation.  One of them would do a dance move and the others would follow.  These boys are all pretty good dancers anyway.  Some of them are islanders who have moves and one of them is African American and can do hip hop like it's his job.  It all made me pretty happy.

Earlier in the day, the school play was presented to the school.  4th-6th graders were involved and I loved seeing some of my former students shine.  It gave me all the drama mama feels.

Even a trash day can have some really bright spots if you know where to look.  

3rd grade versions

3rd grade version of dressing for the job you want, instead of the job you have:

"I wore this t-shirt and shorts because the weather is supposed to be warmer this time of year." 

(OK, but it's not....)

3rd grade version of making someone feel loved:

Me: We're going to make cards for Mrs. Conlin (our student teacher) because she is graduating and this is her last day.

Student:  Who's Mrs. Conlin?!?

3rd grade version of listening:

All of them, all of the time, after I already said it three times:  What are we doing?

3rd grade version of going with the flow: 

"Wait, what?!?  You did NOT tell us this was going to happen!"

3rd grade version of lining up:

I don't even know how to describe it.  It's not good.

I'll wait.

3rd grade version of mercenaries:

ALL year I've been trying to get them to write an opinion paragraph.  State their opinion, list three reasons (with transitions!), restate their opinion.  That is all.  It has been such a struggle.  Yesterday I offered a penny (for the Skittle machine) to anyone who could do it. 

Guess who can suddenly write opinion paragraphs?

Everyone.

I'm not over it

Talking over with my mom about the destination of my grandmother's belongings, I want everything.  And the house. Please and thank you.  I want to keep it all intact exactly how my grandma left things, maybe cordoned off with some velvet ropes like a museum.

But not really.  

What I really want is my grandma.

I want to sit with my feet dangling from a barstool while I eat pop tarts and chat with her while she bustles around her kitchen.

I want to try to keep up with her at the mall during marathon shopping trips.

I want to pore over the newspaper, trying to decide which "show" to go see.

I want her to show me one more time how to frost a cake so it looks nice.

I want her to show me one more time how to make her Thanksgiving stuffing.

I want to sit next to her during one of my siblings' basketball games and be a little mortified by how invested she is.

I want her to micromanage me decorating the Christmas tree because it matters.

I want to hear her call me "honey" and hear her introduce me to someone as her "little namesake."

I want to play Rook with her and eat her Swiss steak.  I want to eat vegetables that taste delicious because she has drowned them in butter.

I want her to insist I have candy and ice cream and scold me for not giving Adam a bigger piece of pie.

I want to read her handwriting on a card for me.

I want to call her or have her call me.

I want to hear about "the game" and pretend I even know which game she is talking about.

I want just one more hug and kiss.

I want my grandma.