Striking Out

This afternoon I was supposed to be cleaning my microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator, oven and stove top according to my master deep-cleaning-this-summer schedule.

I set the oven to self clean, halfheartedly cleaned some appliances, burned my fingers wiping the front of the oven and gave up to do my errands.

As is their custom, I knew the lovely labor saving contraptions would wait for me.

I went to Great Clips where my hero hair cutter, Titi, works. I love Titi. I love how cheap hair cuts at Great Clips are. I love that I know when Titi works because I would never, no never let any of the other hacks that work there touch my hair. Thank you very much. I have learned that lesson.

I walked into Great Clips, fully expecting to be greeted by friendly Titi, to learn that she wouldn't be there until 5:00 today.

Strike one.

Next I went to Pier 1 Imports. According to my inbox, they were having a 50% off sale on "certain" items. I wondered if the pillow that makes my heart sing--the brown one with birds and flowers crewel embroidered on it--would be on sale.

Nope.

It's still $30. $30 for a pillow? I can't do it. I wish I could. But I can't. Blame my dad and his Scottish ancestors.

Strike 2.

I went to the library to research camcorders. I grabbed the volumes of Consumer Reports. I decided against sitting at the table next to the man who was tunelessly whistling while he worked on his computer.

(Is there anything as horrible as tuneless whistling? I mean besides corn dogs or skittles or rodents?)

I went over to the "quiet" section of the library. Which is sort of absurd because the little library is so small that anywhere in it you can hear the cacaphony from the children's section...especially when school is out.

Quiet is always appealing to me though so I sat myself between two people and started my research.

There was half a page on camcorders and it was not helpful in the least.

The man on one side of me was watching a movie on his laptop...complete with sound. It was turned way down but I thought he must take a page out of Mark's book when it comes to "quiet".

The guy on the other side of me was dressed in drag. I've seen him at the library before. Weird. Why would you get up in the morning, put on a dress, nylons and pumps and spend the day at the library? Particularly if you're a man? I wondered how he found a pearl ankle bracelet big enough for his manly ankle until I had sufficiently distracted myself from my disappointment over the camcorders. Then I moved on.

Strike 3.

the silver lining to the library cloud was that the little boy in the children's section screaming at his mother did not belong to me

On the way home I realized that I'd forgotten the work samples I need to send to my kids' Virtual Academy teachers. And I'd driven right by the post office.

Strike 4?

I think I'm out.