The New Side of Me

Ahhhh, spring break.  Yesterday I played hooky all day.  First I finished the novel I'd been reading then I had a long and overdue phone conversation with Janet.  Delightful.

Earlier in the day though, Braeden had been bugging me about his friends.  He gets an idea in his head and won't let it go.  He wears me down and wears me down until I give up.

Just GO Braeden.  FINE.  Pack a lunch.  Be gone for as long as you want.  Just stop pestering me.

I get that this is really a horrible way to mother.

I confessed it all to Janet and she told me that on the bright side, those tenacious qualities of Braeden's will serve him well someday.

Emphasis on someday.

Although they're working pretty well for him now.  Because he certainly gets what he wants if he badgers me enough.  Someday I wouldn't be surprised if I just hand him the keys to the car and my credit cards.

Just for some peace.

When Braeden finally came home I found out what he'd done all day.  I knew which friend's house he rode his bike to (I'm not SUCH a terrible mother, see?) and they'd been there most of the day.  Along with another friend, they'd played basketball and watched some of the movies they've made together.  Then they got the idea to go swimming.

Braeden had come home, while I was upstairs, on the phone.

He'd retrieved his swimsuit and YMCA membership card.

They'd gone swimming at the YMCA (one of the mothers drove them because she was out doing errands anyway).

This all staggered me.

"You came home?"

"Yes."

"And I didn't even know?"

Braeden shrugged.

"How did your friends get in to swim?"

Braeden said, "They didn't even check my membership card.  That place doesn't have very tight security Mom."

For the second time that day, I confessed, "I'm a terrible mother."

Braeden said, "I like this new side of you."

"What do you mean?"

"This hands-off mothering side."

For the first few years of Braeden life I was rarely further than 4 feet away from him when he was awake.  I did everything for him and watched his every move.  He was my world.  I was so smitten with him, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Thankfully (for both of us) when his siblings arrived, my time was divided and Braeden was no longer the only one for me to orbit in my solar system.

I need to strike a balance between that mother, the hoverer, and yesterday's mother, the delinquent.

Like I told Mark last night when he wondered if we'd even had lunch (we did, sort of), it wasn't a good day.  Tomorrow I'll be a good mother.

So here I go.