I May Never Figure It Out

It seems like if someone's been doing a job for 13 years, they would about have a handle on it.

Well I don't.

Mothering.

I've been reading A Golden Age by Tahmima Anam.  It's set in Bangladesh, a place I know nothing about so that's an interesting aspect of it.  Mostly though, I'm intrigued by the main character, Rehana, who is a mother.  She mothers fiercely and sometimes I think, "No, don't do that." She doesn't listen because she's a mother and can't help loving her children (and also, she's a character in a book and can't hear me). 

As I pick my way through the minefield that is motherhood, I consider the quote by Jill Churchill:

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

But I want to be a perfect mother. 

Is that too much to ask?

Sometimes being a good mother is protecting and shielding and forcing and disciplining.

Sometimes being a good mother is releasing and trusting and yielding and allowing.

If I were a perfect mother, I would know when to be which way.

You know?