Seeker

Knowledge is of two kinds.  We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.

Samuel Johnson

Sometimes I need help--help of any and every kind.  Sometimes I don't know the answers I seek.  Happily I have a tribe.  They are accessible to me and always help.  Yesterday I talked to Janet, Stephanie, Olivia, Marianne and my mom about this particular dilemma.  (Phew!)

They all listened/validated/advised/understood.

Last night I talked to Tabor.  (He's definitely in the top three of my favorite brothers.)  I love talking to Tabor.  (Once my dad said he couldn't imagine how a conversation between Tabor and me would work on the phone.  He said, "You both talk all the time."  Rude.)

Tabor listened to my discourse (and didn't even mind when I cried a little).

He said (carefully), "Are you wanting to tell me how you're feeling or are you wanting to know what I think?"

"Tell me what you think," I said.

So he did.

He has way more wisdom than someone who I remember holding on the couch when he was an infant so my mom could make dinner should.  He has had experiences that have honed his character and the good sense to learn from them.  He also (kindly) told me things like, "it's not about you" and "you have to realize how it is and be OK with it."

I don't think anyone in this world could say those kinds of things to me without making me feel defensive/offended/prickly.  Somehow it works for him.

Then he told me what I was doing right.  What I had done in the past that was good.  He complimented me.  I know he loves me.  (And I love him.) 

Then he reminded me of what I already know.

He said to pray.

He promised me I'd get answers.

And I know the same.  Being a seeker is all part of the game I guess.  I'm so glad to have helpers along the way.