Still me

Maybe?

I don't know.  This is weird.

I told Adam the other night through my tears that I felt like my purpose is diminished.  Adam is 1) unfazed by my tears and 2) a good listener and 3) always a wise adviser.  I'm lucky I have him.

I tried to explain how it feels that I very soon won't be a Full Time Mother (no children at home), it felt so different.  I realize I'm a late bloomer.  Most people with kids the age of my kids have already adjusted to this....Adam talked about all the glorious things I can do with increased discretionary time.  And he's right!  I'm anticipating Time Well Spent.  It also feels too luxurious somehow. Selfish even.

Adam pointed out that I've never been all that selfish and he doubts I'll start.

Adam asked me if once I was going to school, my mom no longer mothered me.  Of course she did!  She still does.

I'm still me.  I'm still a mother.  As my circumstances shift and my role goes from a managerial to a more supportive and advisory role, I will try to roll along with the changes.

Change.  I like it when it involves paint colors and throw pillows.  It's a little harder to take when it involves how I spend my days.