Come on Barbie let's go party!

Yesterday after school we gathered in the main hall to decorate.  We are all dressing as Barbies except Matt will be Ken and Tyler who teaches 6th grade will be ?  He doesn't love our Barbie theme....

There were some students still in the building for Boys and Girls club.  Several of them asked, "What are you doing?!?"

Elementary teachers and Halloween are a whole thing.  95% of what we do everyday is for our students, but this Barbie theme is purely for us.  Most of the kids haven't seen it.  We love a theme though and we are all in.

I took some pictures of the action.

 

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I was cutting the lengths of pink paper along with another teacher.  Who didn't see it coming that I wouldn't do a great job?  Elsa, a kindergarten teacher got some scissors and corrected my failings.  I did go to my classroom for some really good adhesive that I have from Amazon.  It sticks to brick!  Like in Fried Green Tomatoes, when Kathy Bates' character says she is older and has more car insurance, I'm older and have better adhesive stuff. 

We all have our contributions.

Everyone was talking about what a crazy day yesterday had been as they were excited for Halloween.  I said, "Mine wasn't so bad."

Lacey, a first grade teacher, smiled slyly and said, "Did you have some friends absent?"

And I said, "Yes, yes I did."

Today is going to be wild, but I'll get by with a little help from my fellow Barbies.

(I love where I work.)

Weekend

My family returned!  I am grateful to have them both back safely.  Emma had a great timed I am so glad she got to go and see people and that she was so well taken care of by those people.  When someone loves your children, you feel the love and that is all.

Adam was at once impressed by all the Las Vegas over the top-ness (they are totally revamping things for a Formula 1 race and it is sort of a modern marvel), but also so disgusted by the baseness of the place.  He also really enjoyed interacting with graduates.  At one point after the graduation, he was driving Hootie (and can we just pause and appreciate that Adam actually calls the van Hootie even though he resisted the first 10,000 times I called it that) and saw a family walking from the graduation and he knew there was no parking close in the direction they were walking.  He pulled over and offered them a ride and since he was in an enormous WGU van, they didn't feel stranger danger and he was able to give them a ride to their car.    He, at his very core, is a person who likes to help people and I love that about him.

I'm glad he's back.

I spent a good part of Saturday doing all the Saturday things and also getting ready for my party.  I had some teacher friends over and it was so fun.  Our conversation weaved seamlessly between school and our families and our church callings and the science of reading and the temple and school drama and Relief Society and the route for the Halloween parade and scriptures and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

It is just lovely to have friends who get me on such a cellular level.

Jamie and I talked at length in an aside conversation about motherhood and she is good and wise and I always say she is my life coach instead of just the instructional coach at our school.  When she left (at 11:00!  The party went way past my bedtime!) she thanked me for listening and said that maybe I was her life coach too.

We all need life coaches!

Over the weekend I talked to Marianne (in person) and my parents and Olivia on the phone and that is always the shot in the arm life coaching I need.

Yesterday was a nice day.  It was the primary program at church and I always love that.  We didn't have any Johnsons because they were having a get together on the other side of the family, but Mark came over and we had soup and discussed a doctrinal question I had from preparing for my Sunday School lesson next week. (I pronounced it the way Mr. Collins does in Pride and Prejudice.)

Later we talked to Braeden and he had a lot of good insight for my question and I wish he was here all the time.  He told us about a small miracle he was a part of as Elders quorum president and it made me teary and Adam said, "Don't cry!"  My eyes.  They have flared up again and crying makes them worse.  I told Braeden to be mean to me so I wouldn't cry.  So he tried, but it just made me laugh.  

Which is better than crying.

Today we have the dentist after school, but we've also been invited to a party later (and they said no costumes which so way to read the room if you ask me).  With Halloween tomorrow, today feels like the calm before the storm....

Grateful Friday

I'm home alone and I'm grateful that I don't mind it.  I do miss Adam and Emma so I'm also grateful that I'm not always home alone.  Wednesday, I talked to Adam while I was driving home and I told him that I was going to stop at Trader Joe's just to see what they had and then I was going to go to Joann Fabrics for some embroidery floss.

He said, "Well you are just living the bachelorette dream!"

I guess so.  

Adam is in Las Vegas for a graduation and even though I wish I were with him, I am grateful I am not in Las Vegas.  When Adam called me last night, the first thing he said was, "I hate Las Vegas."

I agree. It's an embarrassment to Nevada.

Emma went to Portland and then Seattle.  She went to Portland for a concert of one of her favorite singers.  It was very kind of Enoch and Jennifer to host her.  I started feeling stressed the night of the concert, thinking about her leaving it alone, late at night, in an unfamiliar city.  She is the most independent person I know and she is a fully grown girl, but still.

Enoch texted me a nice text about how they enjoyed having her and I texted back that I was grateful she had their house to stay at--one less worry for me.  He acknowledged that it was a little sketchy where she had been and he slept better once she got home for the night.  I can't even put into words how loved it made me feel to have my enormous brother standing watch for her.

Geri picked her up in Portland and now Emma is off on an adventure with her.  I'm grateful for the opportunity she has had to see family and friends she loves.

I'm still grateful for physical therapy because it is helping.  It also is taking a lot of time so I'll be grateful when I'm done with it too.

I am grateful for the fireplace in our room.  The temperature took a dip and since I'll be gone all day, it seemed silly to turn on the heat for the hour I'm home in the morning.  I turned on the pilot light and flipped the switch for the fireplace and warm flames sprung to life.  You can't have read The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder and not marvel at that situation.

I'm grateful I get to have dinner with Marianne and Robert tonight!

I'm still grateful for autumn.  I love it and I love looking forward to the holidays.

It's a happy time.

Evaluation

Happily I don't need to be evaluated every year now, but it is still unsettling.  Especially now that we have another new principal, I wasn't sure how it would go.  Every principal looks for something else.

I have yet to meet with him and hear his comments (the unsettling part), but yesterday I had a lesson evaluated.

It went OK.  It felt like everything was going along pretty well, in fact.  Then I noticed that one of my students (one whose behavior only reflects the utter chaos he lives in) was sound asleep.  It was still the 8:00 hour and it was clear that he was out.  

In the absence of any other better ideas, I just carried on with my lesson.  

When my allotted time was up, Matt got up to leave.  He stopped by to get the sleeper, who was supposed to be on his way to special ed.  The sleeper wouldn't budge.  Matt said, "You can either go to special ed. or come to the office.

He groggily said, "Can I lay down at the office?"

Matt said yes and he just let him sleep.  Poor little guy.  And also, he was perfectly rotten all afternoon.

Sigh.

Also, if you feel like you're not quite on top of things, just remember that time that I had a teacher evaluation and a student fell asleep and I didn't notice right away.

America

Yesterday we read a story about some immigrants from Ireland coming to America in the late 1800s.  Immigrate is one of our vocabulary words for the week so I settled in for a whole conversation.

I told them that all of us had ancestors or close family members that were immigrants.  They didn't believe me. 

So I started with Columbus.  Do you know who Columbus was?

He discovered America?

Well, he discovered it for the Europeans.  There were already people living here.  It's like if I came to Bonneville for the first time and I said, "I discovered Bonneville!"

They all laughed.

I grabbed my globe and showed them where Spain was.  I told them about King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel.  I told them about the Nina and the Pinta and the Santa Maria.  I showed them where India was and how Europeans wanted to go there, but it was dangerous.

I showed them where Columbus had sailed and how he called the people Indians because he thought he was in India.

"He wasn't!" they exclaimed.

It was a mistake, I agreed.  I told them about the Mayflower and the pilgrims.

One of them asked, "How do you know all this?"

I said, "I went to school and learned and now you are in school and learning."

They wanted to know how long I had lived in America.  "50 years."

I told them their homework was to find out where their family had come from before they came to America.

They realized they knew some actual immigrants after all.  One boy was born in Tonga.  They have parents from Tonga, Samoa, Mexico, Guatemala, Salvador, and Haiti.

We talked about reasons why someone would choose to immigrate and they had reasons.  They also brought up that some people came as slaves.  We all agreed they didn't choose to come.  My students said that people immigrate because it is safer and there are better jobs and there may be a war or America is where their family is.  Their experience is vastly different than my experience, but I'm glad we're all Americans.  I told them that it made America better to have ideas and art and food and words and traditions from other countries.  They quizzed me on Spanish words and were thrilled by the very few I know.

Of all the things I teach them, high on the list is to value where they're from but also to value each other.  I know my life is enriched by my association with them.  

I also know that I'm not in charge of immigration policy and it's way more nuanced than I understand, but I say, "Come on in!"

Good things: a list

It's nice to have a professional learning day after a vacation.  Well played Alpine School district.  There were lots of teachers yawning, but it was nice we didn't need to muster the energy for students.

Besides it being gentler than school, our day was very productive and I felt good about the work we did.

Physical therapy is helping so much.  So much.

I love hearing Emma play the piano and sing along.  The sounds waft up the stairs and throughout the house and it is lovely.  

October.  It is picture perfect.  Just warm enough.  Beautiful.  Sunny. Colorful leaves.

Weekend

Friday we spent a lovely day together.  We read stories and took a walk and played at the playground and went to our hotel to swim (not me).  QE inherited the Davis genes that make water key to happiness.  She was so cold but didn't want to get out.  She got out briefly and I wrapped her in towels but then she wanted right back in.  Braeden would throw her in the air and she would squeal in delight or she would hang onto Adam's arm and say, "Kick, kick, kick" and kick her little legs for all she was worth.  The nearby shower was warmer than the water (I think the pool was only heated by the California sun).  Mark took her to the shower and sprayed her with the warm water which she loved.  She insisted he keep spraying her whenever he stopped to spray himself.  Anna had been at work during that and when she saw the video she said, "Youngest child, meet only child."

QE rules the roost and we are her very happy subjects.

On Saturday we went to a farm and QE was delighted by the pumpkins and then we went inside to the part where you can pet the animals.  Braeden said he'd pay and Adam said, "I didn't neglect you when you were little to get ahead so I couldn't pay for my granddaughter."

It was only funny because it was patently untrue.  Adam never neglects anyone.   We saw the goats and the pigs and the donkey and the sheep and the ducks and the geese and the chickens and the kittens.  QE supplied all the sounds they made and pointed out all of their water dishes.  Staying hydrated matters and she knows it.

We stopped at the store for lunch stuff and I bought her one of those little decorative pumpkins because she had been so enamored by the pumpkins at the farm.  She carried it around the rest of the day and called it Pump.  In the afternoon Adam took Mark (who was recovering from the Benadryl so he could survive the animals and their straw) back to our hotel.  Braeden was conducting a baptism and Anna was leading the music for it so I stayed at their apartment while QE slept.  I read and took a nap on the couch so you can see that it was a really hard job.

I read stories to her all day that we were there.  Her favorites are bus bus (Wheels on the Bus), George (Curious George) and this book of art and counting that I brought her.  Curious George stories are not short but she would happily sit through a couple in a sitting.  She started zooming around the room, getting restless.  She said, "Swim."  Then, "Bye bye!" and headed for the door.  Whoever wasn't with her was apparently going to get left behind.

We went out to the little playground in their apartment complex instead.  She loves to hold someone's hand and just run around on the sidewalks, chattering away.  

We went to Red Robin for dinner and took Pump with us.  QE ate an entire hamburger and two servings of mandarin oranges (they are apparently bottomless, just like the fries).  It takes a lot of energy to power that cutie.

At church, when QE saw me she said, "Nana!  Bus bus!"  I hadn't brought the book and that is probably a good thing because it isn't exactly reverent.  Partway through the meeting she pulled her Pump out of the diaper bag and carefully held it.  I am pretty sure she was the cutest little girl there and I'm positive she was the only one holding a pumpkin.

After church we had lunch at Braeden and Anna's and I read her Curious George and she took her nap.  We kissed her and told her we'd see her at Christmas and that caused a little sadness in my heart.  It helped when I remembered that Christmas is coming soon.

We drove back to San Francisco by way of Pittsburg where we used to live in the East Bay.  We showed Mark our apartment and all the things.  It is a pretty spot.  I was feeling pretty good about the amount of time we had for the airport.  I always feel anxious about it and want plenty of time.  Adam said, "Let's drive into San Francisco and show Mark around a little.  It will be fast."

I said, "OK...."

Mark hadn't remembered being in San Francisco because he was little the last time we were there.  Adam showed him where he used to work and we pointed out some of the major landmarks.  My anxiety was rising about the time.  You never know how long returning a rental car and security will take.  It always takes longer with Mark too because of his medical stuff.

Mark told me that Adam was doing exposure therapy for me to help me.  Maybe.  I think some people like to be really early at the airport and some people like to get there at the last possible minute and then they marry each other.

We made it in plenty of time and our flight was even slightly delayed.  Which is sad when you're getting home late.

We made it home and I feel very grateful for time spent with Braeden and Anna and QE and Mark and Adam.  I was also grateful to get home to a cheerful Emma who wanted to tell us all about the music festival she had attended over the weekend with some of her friends.

Grown children are a really great invention.

And now, professional development.  Fingers crossed I stay awake.

Nana life

 

Yesterday we made the trip to California.  I have zero complaints about the convenience of it all because it worked, but we traded the ease of flying into Sacramento and a short drive for the ease of flying out of Provo and the somewhat painful (traffic!) drive from San Francisco.  It was kind of fun to see San Francisco again though.  

We lived there so briefly, it kind of feels like a fever dream, but it was also impactful for the history of our family.

When we got to their house and walked in the door, QE said, "Nana!" which proves that FaceTime is the best invention of this modern age.  I had brought The Wheels on the Bus and she was shaking and squirming with so much delight.  We read it over and over and later when I was reading Curious George to her she jumped down and ran across the room to grab "bus bus" to hold while she listened.  An emotional support book if you will.  It was not very long until I grabbed my phone and ordered her a copy of The Wheels on the Bus (I'm not ready to part with my own copy).  Amazon will deliver hers to their door today.  Amazon is the second best invention of this modern age for grandparents.

Adam said, "Will that take away some of the magic if she has her own book?"

I don't know.  Tomorrow she may have moved on to a different passion, but the board book was $5 on Amazon and she loves it and I love her.  That is Nana math.

Anna was working last night so we didn't get to see her, but she'd made us a delicious dinner before she left.  Braeden is working this morning but we'll go see Anna and QE.  This afternoon, they overlap with their schedules so we will (at zero personal sacrifice) watch QE for a few hours.  Living the actual dream.

I loved talking with Braeden after she went to sleep last night.  He showed us some of the stuff that he is working on.  At one point I said, "You're such a smart boy."  

He said, "You taught me to read."

Yes, but I can't take credit for the rest. 

Children are marvels and then they have children and my heart is going to overflow.

Light and heavy, heavy and light

Today's the first day of fall break and my heart feels light thinking about it.

There's plenty to feel heavy about too.

A beloved older lady in our ward who has been valiantly fighting health challenges for years passed away yesterday.

Also yesterday I found out that one of my friends from when I was a teenager has had a fresh tragedy in her already very tragic life.  My heart hurts for her.

It was a year ago that we lost our sweet niece Raelyn in a senseless act of violence.  

I only glance at the news because it is too heavy and I read recently that we are not required to bear witness to all the tragedy on Earth.  That is a freeing thought.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was writing a letter to a friend of ours who has left the church.  I was all ready to write him something (?) and then my alarm went off and I woke up.  

I rarely remember my dreams, but I remembered this one and I wished that my alarm hadn't interrupted this supposed brilliance I was going to write.

I ended up feeling kind of sad because in reality I had no idea what I would write and we're not really in close contact anyway.

Life can be heavy.

Yesterday my mom sent us some journal entries from my Grandpa Jaynes's desk diary that she'd come across.  It delighted me.  He wrote about going to different events and how he told Thelma (Thelma being my grandma) that she was the best looking girl there.  I miss my grandma.  It made me really happy to see this teeny tiny window into the relationship between my grandparents, especially since I never knew my grandpa.  It made me really happy to think about the fact that they are together and someday I'll be with them and I can get to know (remember?) my grandpa.  Someday I'll hear my grandma say my name again.  I don't know how heaven will work, but I hope my grandma will take me around and introduce me to people as her "little namesake".

Life can be lightened.

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that allows for change and hope and reuniting of loved ones.

That's what I'd tell our friend. 

Tipping the scales

Yesterday was one of those days that is so crazy, it is almost (but not quite) comical.

I had sick kids fighting not to throw up.  I have another pink eye outbreak.  Grades are due today and sickness isn't helping me get everything gathered.

I found a student had taken a Chromebook and his expensive school headphones home.  (Luckily his brother wanted to get him in trouble so he told me.)

I had a student jam my Skittle machine and get a bunch of Skittles out.  (It's up on a tall shelf now.  The fact that 3rd graders are short comes in handy.)

This same student tied an elaborate knot with his shoelaces around his upper thigh while they were sitting on the rug.  He couldn't get it undone and couldn't move his leg.  Imagine him rolling around on the floor and everyone else (besides me) laughing along with him.  I was finally able to get the shoe off him and then I untied the knot using tweezers.

I don't even want to talk about the distributive property and how about half of them are just not getting it.  

At all.

Sigh.

Here's what tipped the scales back to make it a pretty good day.

One of my students, whose mother had chaperoned the field trip to the Butterfly Biosphere, brought me this:

She had overheard me telling one of my students the blue ones are my favorite and it was just so kind of her to paint it for me!

Also, a fifth grader who was in my class stopped by after school to hug me, like she does about once a week.

A little kindness is all you need to change your day!

Our principal signs off every announcement he makes and every email he sends with:  make it a great day and go make it a great day for someone else.

I'm grateful for people who do that!

It's going to be OK

Yesterday I added three appointments to my already really (really) packed calendar.  A dentist appointment I had forgotten about (because I set it 6 months ago) was added as well as two additional physical therapy appointments.  It's a lot.

So I keep telling myself it's going to be OK.

Day 1 of only three school days is accomplished for this week.

I'm really (really) looking forward to our trip to CA to see our kiddos.  As a big bonus it will be uninterrupted time with Adam and Mark is coming too!  

Grades are due before I leave on Wednesday and that slightly makes me want to hyperventilate because that feels like a lot, but I pretty much have it in hand, I just have a heightened sense of All the Things right now.

Even when a lot of the things are good things, all the things can feel like a lot.

Yesterday we had a magician assembly at our school which was pretty awesome.  Imagine over 500 kids losing their ever loving MINDS when he produced a rabbit.  It was fun to watch.  They talked about it for the rest of the day.

One of Miriam's students who I work with for reading, is slowly slowly slowly warming up to me.  He spent the first two weeks defiant and unwilling to do anything and I've gradually eased him into working.  Skittles for the win on that one.

I guess what I'm trying to convince myself (because I love wide margins and I don't love a packed calendar) is that a busy life can also be a good one.

Weekend

After a long and tiring week, I had a very nice weekend.

Friday after work we packed everything up, talked about our dinner plans across the cul-de-sac and headed out with us in Adam's car and the Porters in Dave's truck.  Nola texted, "Is there a rest stop anywhere soon?"

Adam said, "In about 30 minutes."

I looked on Google maps and the rest stop was exactly 30 minutes away.

It's like we've driven that road a few times....

We also stopped in Wendover for a classy dinner at Arby's in the truck stop/casino/ Arby's hybrid that is there.

It's a whole cultural experience.

Speaking of experiences, we had flies.

My dad had kindly gone over earlier in the day to sweep/vacuum our flies.  I told him he didn't need to, but he did anyway.  He called me to ask if I had a dust mop.  I do, but I had the head of it with us because I had taken it home to wash.

He texted me a picture of one of his piles of flies which I will not post here because it was that horrifying.  I talked to my dad later and he told me that he'd started hurting too much (since he has, you know, broken vertebrae and ribs) so he stopped working on it.

I said, "I wish you hadn't done any of it!"

He said, "Don't worry, you'll still have a mess to clean up."

And we did.  The four of us each had either a broom or vacuum and tackled the flies.  I asked the Porters, "Isn't this exactly what you would want to be doing on a Friday night?"

Dave said, "This is fascinating!"

Basically, they're good houseguests.

The flies were pretty amazing.  My dad said it was because we had such a wet year.  He said we could either have drought or flies.  I asked if there was a third option.  I guess that is life in the fast lane when you have a log house that you don't live in.  Flies in the fall.

We cleaned everything up and sat and visited until way too late.  

Saturday we visited some more, Adam cooked sausage and we put it in the slow cooker and then we headed over to Marianne's for the watch party.

This is an understatement because I lack the words, but the eclipse was amazing.

Here we are on the deck in our fashionable glasses.

I managed to get one picture of the eclipse using an extra pair of glasses and having Dave push the button on my phone.

I always kind of like it when you experience something that you can't adequately document with a picture.  It feels extra novel.  I don't know; I can't explain it.

We had our brunch (why we brought sausage) that was so wonderful and filling we didn't eat again until an early dinner.  Marianne knows how to throw a party.

We stayed and visited at Marianne's, stopped at my parents and showed the Porters around, then went over and showed them the barn.  It was a regular tour of Thelma's childhood.

We even picked apples in the orchard and ate them.  

In the late afternoon they headed back to Utah.  They were climbing into their truck and Adam said, "I think I'll go mow."

So he did and I took my components over to my dad for the lamp I want.  Geri shared a picture with me originally of a mixer that had been transformed into a lamp.  I have the old Sunbeam Mixmaster that belonged to my grandma.  I bought a lamp kit and took it all to my dad.  He looked at it and said, "Yeah, I can probably do that."

I told him that I really appreciated having someone in my life who I could present my harebrained project ideas to.

My mom invited us for dinner so I went back to the Home Place. We are rebranding it as that which is what everybody else calls it anyway, but I didn't want to because I wanted to be respectful to Adam because it was never his home place, but he said he doesn't care so I probably should have just asked him in the first place.  (I am teaching my third graders about run on sentences and I think I have a candidate for an example of a run on sentence.)

I got Adam and two loaves of sourdough bread to contribute to the dinner.  Ammon's family, Marianne and Robert, my parents and we all had a nice dinner.  We went home and I went straight to bed, I was that tired.

After bragging all weekend about how I hadn't had any headaches, I woke up with a doozy in the middle of the night.  I sat in my chair and read a little and contemplated that maybe this would be the headache that would finally kill me, but it didn't.

I was moving slowly Sunday morning and Adam had to get back to Utah for a meeting so I tried to rally and help get stuff ready, but Adam did most of it.

I was pretty worthless the rest of the day.  Pride cometh before the fall.

Adam and I drove home together, holding hands and talking about the weekend and listening to part of this week's Follow Him podcast.  He had me send a bunch of texts to people about the meeting he was going to.  He had 56 unread texts on his phone that had piled up during the drive.  He is busy and tireless and I'm grateful he is mine!

Grateful Friday

Yesterday was rough.  It was the final day of parent teacher conferences so it was also long.  Some parents have zero regard for details like signing up or coming the time they were assigned.  They just show up randomly and I scramble to get everything in order.  

I think I'm organized ahead of time, but it is always chaotic.

Which is how some of my students' lives seem to be.  I feel a big mixed bag of emotions:  annoyance with the behaviors of the students and their parents who can't GET IT TOGETHER, sadness that things are so hard and confused by the unfairness of it all.

Braeden sends me pictures of QE and she is sitting in a sunlit and clean apartment, looking at books contentedly on their couch.  She is comfortable and safe and loved and protected and surrounded by books.  She is delighted by pictures of Christ and by seeing temples and there has never been a more adored little girl.

People have vastly different mortal experiences and that is all.

Last night I talked to Braeden and he told me that he and Anna were talking about something similar recently.  He said, "I had an epiphany."

When he says that, I sit up and pay attention.  He said that thinking about the hard time Anna had giving birth to QE, it was pretty terrible (and any mother can relate).  He said as more time passes, it feels less and less terrible.  It still happened; it was hard, but living with and loving QE has erased the sting of it all.

He said that helped him understand how it will be when the Savior someday heals us and makes everything right.

For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

Revelations 7:17 

 I'm grateful for all this job and this life (and my children) teach me.  

Also:  I'm grateful Adam is currently on his way home and we get to go to Nevada.  Fingers crossed for clear weather because we will have an eclipse passing right over us!  I have a pack of eclipse glasses and I want to use them!

A million chances

Yesterday one of my students quietly told me, "My parents got divorced yesterday."

How I am supposed to respond in the face of news that knocks the breath out of me while I'm in the middle of passing out papers to fidgeting 8 and 9 year olds is beyond me.

I asked, "How do you feel about that?"

He looked at me for a few seconds and then shrugged and said, "Well, I'm still me."

That also kind of knocked the breath out of me.  It was so profound and true!  

Can I hold onto the lessons I learn every day and internalize them?  Can I be like this sturdy child and gather resilience about me because I'm still me?

Can I also get better?  I want to still be me, but also a better version of me.

Yesterday I was listening to the Follow Him podcast while I drove home and they mentioned something about giving people "a million chances."

Yes! I thought.  Let that be me!  I want to give people a million chances.

Then I saw a text message from a mother who told me she wouldn't be able to come to Parent Teacher Conferences because she was too busy.

I felt irked.

I really (really!) need to talk to her.  Her son is struggling and pretty much headed for disaster and I want to help and see what we can do.  He is in crisis and she is too busy?!?

Then I remembered my resolve only minutes earlier to give people a million chances.

Ugh.

I dropped that ball.  I don't know her life.  I don't know the pressures she has and I don't know how stretched she is.  She is probably doing the best she can and I need to show her some grace.  I'm almost always nice on the outside and too often judge-y on the inside.

I am grateful I have a million chances to try to improve.  I need every one of them.

It's a good life

 One day down of Parent Teacher Conferences.  They are exhausting but also good.  It is nice to talk to parents and see my students squirm in pleasure when I tell their parents how great they are.  

(And I don't exactly mind seeing them squirm when I tell their parents what they need to do to improve!)

One of my boys has an older brother who I taught also.  The older brother came to translate for his parents, which is always awesome and impressive.  I told him what his brother was doing really well and my former student said, 'Well, who do you think taught him?"

Then I said what my current student needs to work on and I told his older brother he'd better get busy and help his brother!

When I was leaving the school, a little (or a lot) tired, a man was sitting at a table offering community services to families.  He looked at me with complete sincerity and said, "Thank you for changing the world."

It was so kind!  It is an massive overstatement of what I do, but I felt so seen and appreciated and people are just nice.

I talked to Adam while I drove home and then Braeden and QE called on FaceTime.  Her little face lights up when she sees me and that is all the happiness I need in this world.  I read The Wheels on the Bus to her three times.  She said hello to Emma then she wanted to know where Mark was.  She kept saying, "Mark?  Mark?"

Braeden said, "We'll call him next."

Spreading sunshine, like he does.

I will survive

This is a week to be survived.

I woke up with a headache yesterday morning which is always a favorite way to wake up....

I went to the physical therapist after school and I feel hopeful.  What I have been doing--giving all my money to the chiropractor--isn't really helping, so I will try something else.

Adam had a late flight and it wasn't worth driving home, but it was late enough that he didn't need to leave straight from work.  I had the idea to meet at IKEA because October is the time for Christmas decorations.  If you go much later, you miss them and there is no joy in that.

Emma and Adam met me there.  We had meatballs and walked around looking at pretty things.  Adam left for the airport and Emma and I went to the Christmas decorations.  Emma is completely an enabler.  She kept saying, "Get it!" I got a little stash of pretty things.  Red Christmas decorations are my love language and that is all.

We got this darling little village.  One look at it and I was a goner.  Shut up and take my money.

It is sturdy enough QE can play with it.  Decorating with the goal of creating magic for that little girl is going to be fun.

So that was the shot in the arm I needed for the rest of the week.  Tonight and Thursday are Parent Teacher Conferences which are exhausting.  Adam comes home Friday and we also leave for Nevada Friday.

Let's do this!

Weekend

We asked Mark if he wanted to go to Costco and that was a big yes.  He came over and I had a handful of things for him to do.  (Carry that box to the car, move that table, etc.)

He said, "I'll happily do anything since you are taking me to Costco."

The children who hated to do errands with you evaporate when you offer to buy them stuff at Costco.  That is science.

We had lunch, stopped off at DI (that was the heavy box I had him carry), Costco and Walmart.  At Walmart, I saw one of my students.  He and his older siblings (who I also had) were shook by the fact that I was at Walmart.  Adam wasn't with us, and my students pointed to Mark and said, "Is that your husband?"

(They seriously have no concept of age.)

I said, "No, this is Mark."

He said, "I'm her son."

Later I said to Mark, "I am sorry he thought you were my husband."  

Mark said, "Don't remind me."

OK, I didn't think it was that bad....

I told Braeden the story and he said when he was a little kid in the Missoula Children's Theater, the directors (who are college students) asked them how old the kids thought they were.  Braeden said they had guessed 30 and the directors had laughed and he didn't know if it was because they were a lot older than that or younger.  I said, "Younger."

It's hard to know how old an adult is when you're little.  I think kids are used to going by height and all bets are off with adults.

We had a nice weekend otherwise.  We did our tasks; I read my book.  I enjoyed church and our tithing declaration (our bishop is our friend, so it's nice to visit) and having our people over for dinner.  After we ate, we played a General Conference Jeopardy game that Janelle sent me a link for.  Elder Anderson's daughter created it apparently.  I got it going and messed it up and Adam asked, "Were there instructions with it?"

I said yes and acknowledged I had not read them.  He knows I don't read instructions unless it is vitally important.  I handed the computer over to him and the game was pretty much anarchy because we hadn't really established any rules and therefore disagreed often about how the game should be played.  It was a good time though and then we had s'mores (and/or apples, depending on who you were) at our fire pit.

We capped off the night with a FaceTime conversation with our favorite Californians.  QE is talking up a storm!  She'll be saying sentences by Christmas, that is my prediction.

And now for a busy week ahead!

Grateful Friday

I'm grateful for adorable pictures of QE.

I'm grateful for autumn in all its splendor.  The weather is spectacular and I love seeing the colorful mountains.

I'm grateful we returned from our field trip with as many children as we left with.  That is always the goal.  Also, I think everyone had fun.

I'm grateful for the kind parents who chaperoned the field trip.  I loved watching them interact with the students and I just appreciated their help and patience with all the crazy.

Because it was crazy.

I'm grateful that my one student, that one who makes everything harder, was well behaved.  I gave him a threat at the beginning of the day that he wouldn't go on the next field trip if he didn't listen to me and a prize at the end of the day because he had.  The bar is so low, my friends.

I'm grateful for girl power.  We went to the butterfly biosphere at Thanksgiving Point, then we went to a park.  We had a big tub of all the lunches and I was having two boys carry it from the classroom to the bus.  They whined the whole time about how heavy it was and that it hurt their hands.

I carried one side of it from the bus to the pavilion at the park and a boy had the other side.  He whined and one of my tiny girls took over.  She gritted her teeth and carried it and didn't give one word of complaint.  I said, "You are strong!  Those boys complained about how heavy it was."

She said, "I can do it Teacher!"

She's going to be an awesome mother someday.

Some of the kids had home lunch and some of them had sack lunches from school.  The sack lunches also had milk cartons.  They are these heavy duty boxes like pouches with a tab you peel off to open.  A girl had accidentally ripped off the tab, but the box was still sealed shut.  She asked me for help.  I couldn't get it open.

She said, "I wish my dad was here because he can open anything."

I said, "Mine can too."

I kept trying.  I didn't have anything sharp with me.  I tried to poke my key through it, but it just bent the pouch.  One boy grabbed it and lay it on the table and was prepared to slam his hand into it.

"No!" A chorus of girls and I said.

Another girl, watching said, "How about an earring?"

I pulled out my earring and used it to pry open the milk.  Everyone was happy.  

(You do bizarre things when you're a teacher, it's kind of like the bizarre things you do when you're a mother.)

And that girl with the earring idea is going to be an awesome mother someday too.

I'm grateful for my chiropractor.  My foot has been hurting.  The shot the podiatrist gave me did nothing.  These are the kinds of things my life has come to:  ailments.  And I doubt it's going to get better before it gets worse.

I mentioned my foot to my chiropractor and he said, "Have I ever adjusted it?"

I said, "Is that a thing?"

He said yes and he did and he told me that I mostly have tendonitis and that I will still be able to wear cute shoes.  

I can't even tell you how much better it feels!

I'm grateful Adam is home. 

Speaking of Adam traveling, I realized that the birth order of our kids is pretty much perfect.

When I was a new mother and a mother of young children at home, it was lonely sometimes.  Adam would go to school or work or on business trips and I would have been very lonely without Braeden, especially when we moved to a new place.  Braeden has always been a willing distributor of sunshine.  He kept me company and kept me laughing and filled out home with happy commotion when I needed it.  

Now--and last year when Mark was the only one home--I'm so grateful for my introverts.  I'm gone to school all day and it is so very peopley.  I come home depleted and I just crave silence for awhile.  (Or time with Adam.  Even when I'm spent from being social, Adam never seems to add to that drain.). When Adam's gone, whichever introvert is home and I will eat a quiet and pleasant dinner.  We chat a little about our day, we tidy the kitchen, then one of us inevitably will say something like, "Introverts unite separately?" and the other will give a grateful affirmative.

We happily go to our rooms and read or whatever for the rest of the evening.

When I needed society and someone to talk to, I had Braeden.

When I need quiet and restorative alone time, I have Emma and/or Mark.

What marvelous children they are!  I'm grateful to be their mother!

The taco restaurant

Yesterday I asked my students for the best place to get tacos.  If you want to get third graders immediately engaged, talk about tacos I guess.  Even in the 8:00 AM hour.  They were into it!

I pointed out that our students whose parents were from Mexico were probably the experts.  I have a girl whose parents are from El Salvador and another whose mom is Guatemalan.  I asked them if they had tacos and it sounded like they had things that were taco adjacent, but I said our Mexican students were the experts.  One of them said her abuelita's was the best place for tacos.  Another said that "the taco truck by the building" was the best place.  I said, "Oh, that one...."

The last one described a restaurant and it sounded familiar.  I asked if it was Don Joaquin's.  He got excited and said, "Yes!"

I said that I like their tacos and so did my brother-in-law Edgar, who is Mexican, so I thought they must be pretty good.

One of the white kids said, "How about Taco Bell?"

I can't even describe the look of sheer horror on the face of the boy who likes Don Joaquin's.  The boy who told me about the taco truck said, "No.  No, no, no, no."

I think Edgar might agree.

So I said, we will have our restaurant be Don Joaquin's.  You all work at the restaurant.  I put them in groups and said that the tacos come in orders of three tacos.  We were talking about multiplying by 3 for math.  I went around and placed orders at each restaurant for a different number of people and they had to figure out how many tacos it would be.  

I am coming to the restaurant with Adam, Braeden, Anna, Emma and Mark.  How many tacos is that?  I am coming to the restaurant but Mark isn't, so there are just five of us.  How many tacos is that? But why isn't Mark coming? He doesn't feel like tacos.  Can my family come to the restaurant?  Yes, how many orders do you need?  Seven.  OK.  His family needs seven orders, how many tacos is that?  And on and on.

They all got the correct answers.

Many of them said, "This is so fun!"

Sometimes I forget that they are little kids and pretending a little will make multiplication into a game.

Today we're going on a field trip.

May the odds be forever in our favor.

YEN--movie night

It was movie night even though we didn't watch any movies.

Adam and I were the hosts this month.  I set the table (and took a picture).

One appreciative guest asked, "Are those real apples."

I said "Yes," and also, "You are really easy to impress."  Those are the best kinds of people though.  It was serendipity that I bought the apples randomly to maybe put on the table and I somehow got the exact amount of each to alternate them.

We gave the assignment that everyone was supposed to bring some food inspired by a movie, then we were all supposed to guess which movie the food was from.  It was a lot of fun and made for the most bizarre menu.

Adam prepared Chicago dogs (While You Were Sleeping) and it was mostly an excuse for him to recreate what he'd eaten two weeks before in Chicago.  (Speaking of Adam traveling, Dave asked me, "Now Adam is going out of town tomorrow?"  I said maybe?  Dave knows Adam's schedule more than I do, but Adam knows Dave's more than Nola does.  Also, in related news, Adam went to Phoenix yesterday....)

I made spinach puffs (The Emperor's New Groove) and I was sure going to make a bundt cake (My Big Fat Greek Wedding), but I ended up buying one instead.  Everyone thought it was really good and I said I would pass the compliments along to Winco.

We also had tots (Napoleon Dynamite) that were from The Purple Turtle, which everyone was happy about.  We had pizza in boxes decorated like the pizza boxes in Home Alone, spaghetti and meatballs (Lady and the Tramp), apple pie (When Harry Met Sally--most of us hadn't seen it so that was a hard one).  Shannon didn't have a movie idea or time to make anything so I told her to bring chips.  I not only embrace the low bar lifestyle, but I urge others to do the same.

On second thought I should have asked her to bring carrot sticks or something remotely healthy, but no one suffered.

I took a quick picture before everyone dug in.  It doesn't really show everything all that well, but you get the idea.

We gave Qwixx to the person who got the most correct and said they needed to watch fewer movies and play a game once in awhile.

Second place got movie popcorn.

We had a good time.  I like our little YEN group.  We have lively conversations across the table and we are pulling for each other and each others' children and that feels pretty great.

Inside recess

Yesterday we had inside recess.  It was raining (there were stratonimbus clouds if you are a third grader learning about weather).

I was still eating my lunch when my class trooped in for inside recess.  They were very interested in my lunch (it was leftover taco soup).  

What smells like beans?

What is that smell?

That smells good!

One student (and it should be said almost every story I tell on here is about this one student--he is a character!) stood in front of me staring at my soup.

Keep in mind they had literally just come from lunch.

He said, "Do you have an extra spoon?"

Sometimes

I 

have

no 

words.

Weekend

Saturday was a collision of General Conference, all the regular Saturday things, extra yard work because it was time + Adam was home on a Saturday, and we're hosting a party tonight at our house.

(Note to self:  don't do that on the Monday after a busy weekend if school is in session.)

Also, we were on the docket for cleaning the church again because it was a five week month.  Adam did that while I went to the grocery store in the 8:00 hour.  When Adam told me who was at the church, it was definitely the STP.  One of our former bishops taught us the acronym.  Same Ten People.  They are the people that you ask when you need someone to clean the church for the second time in a month on the day of General Conference.  I guess Adam is one of those people and I am not....

At least I married well.

Our kids helped a lot between sessions with the pruning and the gathering of limbs.  I helped a little outside but also cleaned the kitchen and did laundry and watered my plants and went through the mail.  Between the second and third session I went to Hobby Lobby and Walmart (ornament supplies for my class and party supplies for tonight) and we met up for dinner at Via 313 which has the best gluten free pizza and which was promised to our kids for their good help.

I went to bed in the 8:00 hour and was happy to do it.

Sunday was all set up to be more restful, but then I had a migraine.  I took my new migraine medicine.  My doctor said I may not want to use it while I'm teaching.

A lot of my migraines happen at school.

Anyway.  It was pretty effective at getting rid of the migraine.  It took about an hour, but then I felt super weird for a few hours.

Nobody wins with a migraine.

I did enjoy conference though.  I always feel a mix of encouragement and like I want to do better.  I also made all the ornaments for my class which has become my October conference project.

It was a lovely weekend and I enjoyed having Mark around and of course Emma too.  They are helpful and kind and add pizzaz.  I don't know what more I could want.

Yes, I do. 

Braeden and Anna and QE.  Braeden sent a video of QE watching the "conference pre-game show."  Every time a temple was on the screen, she got really excited.  I've said it before, that girl could do anything and we would all applaud.