Light and heavy, heavy and light

Today's the first day of fall break and my heart feels light thinking about it.

There's plenty to feel heavy about too.

A beloved older lady in our ward who has been valiantly fighting health challenges for years passed away yesterday.

Also yesterday I found out that one of my friends from when I was a teenager has had a fresh tragedy in her already very tragic life.  My heart hurts for her.

It was a year ago that we lost our sweet niece Raelyn in a senseless act of violence.  

I only glance at the news because it is too heavy and I read recently that we are not required to bear witness to all the tragedy on Earth.  That is a freeing thought.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was writing a letter to a friend of ours who has left the church.  I was all ready to write him something (?) and then my alarm went off and I woke up.  

I rarely remember my dreams, but I remembered this one and I wished that my alarm hadn't interrupted this supposed brilliance I was going to write.

I ended up feeling kind of sad because in reality I had no idea what I would write and we're not really in close contact anyway.

Life can be heavy.

Yesterday my mom sent us some journal entries from my Grandpa Jaynes's desk diary that she'd come across.  It delighted me.  He wrote about going to different events and how he told Thelma (Thelma being my grandma) that she was the best looking girl there.  I miss my grandma.  It made me really happy to see this teeny tiny window into the relationship between my grandparents, especially since I never knew my grandpa.  It made me really happy to think about the fact that they are together and someday I'll be with them and I can get to know (remember?) my grandpa.  Someday I'll hear my grandma say my name again.  I don't know how heaven will work, but I hope my grandma will take me around and introduce me to people as her "little namesake".

Life can be lightened.

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that allows for change and hope and reuniting of loved ones.

That's what I'd tell our friend.