No More Forever

Last night Adam and I made a heartbreaking realization:

Next year, if we send Braeden to a partial day of public school like we're planning to do, no more this:

For the past few years we've gone to Lake Chelan AFTER school started.  Everything's half price but more importantly, the lake is empty and the weather is sublime.



This is sad, this no more going to Lake Chelan at the perfect time, but what really makes me gloomy...and caused me to lose sleep last night...was that this is symbolic.  The beginning of the end.

Once Braeden goes to school for part of the day he'll soon enough be going to school for all of the day.  Then he'll be going to college...on a mission...out into the world.  His sister and brother will be right on his heels.

The delicious freedom of home schooling on our own schedule will be replaced with the delicious freedom of me not having to home school them.

But will it be as delicious?

Change is distressing.  Especially when you've been happy. 

Maybe if I'd sent Braeden off to school when he was five this would be easier.  I know our family was more malleable then.  We didn't have the established habits...heading off to Lake Chelan or Vancouver, B.C. at our whim.

I wouldn't trade it though.  All of those lowly humdrum days of teaching my children day in and day out.  Eating lunch with them.  Hearing their laughter and endless stories.  Crowding on the couch to read.  Letting them go will be harder than it would have otherwise.

But I wouldn't trade it.

Never.