In Paul Blart: Mall Cop, (Have you seen that movie? Go watch it. And the sequel.) Paul Blart says a few times that he doesn't drink.
He's at a party and says, "This lemonade is insane!"
Then his friend tells him that it is because it is a margarita. So poor Paul gets unwittingly drunk.
Later, when he ends up with a tattoo on his back, he says, "It's the Loch Ness monster. I don't drink."
I keep thinking about that with Girls' Camp happening next week. All the plans are moving forward. It's taken over my life and I dream about Girls' Camp, but here's the thing: I don't camp.
I have anxiety about leaving my boys behind. (Don't forget to water the plants, Braeden. Also, keep your brother alive.) I have anxiety about it all going smoothly and everyone getting along and staying healthy and safe. I have anxiety that I'm in charge.
And then that detail: I don't camp.
I am I-can't-even-explain-the-extent grateful that Adam is going with me. His very presence is a comfort. He's funny and a good go with the flow type person. He keeps a cool head and knows how to set up a tent and start a fire.
He may have to bar the door (tent flap?) to make sure I don't make a run for the nearest hotel. He's up to the challenge. I will go. I will do my best.
But if I show up with a tattoo of the Loch Ness monster on my back, remember you heard it here first.
I don't camp.