Thank you for tricking me into being productive. I made four photo books so I could get a better price. Then it turned out I couldn't use multiple discounts on the same order. But I still made four books. I call that winning.
Dear everyone on Facebook,
Shhhh. I don't care what you thought about the inauguration.
I don't know why I keep going back to you.
Yes, I do. It's mostly for the funny memes.
Dear Emma's and Mark's schools,
Sorry I let my kids stay home to watch the inauguration. I know the entire thing could have been watched later. I know. But I used to home school and I miss my kids and they know it. They'll use any excuse to sleep in and I'll use any excuse to let them skip school.
Sorry about that. But blame my dad. He used to say, "You'd better stay home. Let the other kids catch up."
When I tell you (at 10:45 PM) that it's time for bed and you say, "OK. I'm just going to have a sandwich first," I'm grateful. You amaze and sort of horrify me with your insatiable hunger, but I'm grateful everyday that I have the food to give you. My heart breaks for women whose children are really hungry.
Thanks for shoveling and blowing snow and carrying the groceries and reaching stuff off the top shelf and for fixing stuff and replacing lightbulbs. You keep on eating all the sandwiches you want.
Someday when you have a beautiful daughter who you just want to keep safe, remember the disdain in your voice when I asked you if you wanted me to drive you to work in the Subaru. (Because of the, you know, blizzard that was happening.) When you remember that disdain, you can call and tell me you're sorry. I'll be waiting. (Ha.)