The Definitive (& Very Brief) List Of When Small Talk Is Appropriate:
- When you’re on a first date and can’t tell if you actually want to let your guard down.
- When you’ve met a new coworker and can’t tell if you actually want to let your guard down.
- When you’ve met a potential friend and need a second to test the waters.
- When you’re at a party where you know no one else, and an absolute saint has decided to indulge you in 10 minutes of conversation about local public transit.
- When you’re at a party and want to be an absolute saint to someone who knows no one there.
- When you run into your landlord.
- When you are a phlebotomist and are trying to distract someone who hates having their blood drawn.
- When you’re at a wedding and you do not know why you were placed at a table full of strangers the bride attended engineering school with, but this is your life for the next few hours, so you’re rolling with it.
There. That is all of them. If your situation does not fall into one of those categories where small talk serves as a form of distraction or an initial step on the road to actual connection, and yet you are still trying to push a small talk situation, I’d like to ask you to reconsider.
Unless, of course...weather. Do you want to talk about the weather? I mean really talk about the weather? Because if you do, I'm all ears.
It's possible I read a few blogs written by college meteorology professors. It's possible this makes me kind of weird and if I talked to a stranger about the weather they would slowly back away.
Anyway.
When we were cleaning the garage and Adam was analyzing seasonal gear, he asked, "Are we done with snow then?"
I said, "I have no idea." (high desert = unpredictable spring)
"What do you mean? Aren't there patterns? Things like El Nino and La Nina? (It's possible Adam has been involuntarily subjected to weather lectures by his wife.)
I said, "Not here. Those patterns don't predicatbly apply here. We're kind of between grass and hay."
Adam said, "I've never heard that idiom."
Adam knows about Boeing planes because of where he grew up and I apparently have vaguely agricultural idioms lurking in my brain that I'm only bringing up now after nearly 23 years of marriage because of where I grew up.
So life is interesting...but not enough to engage in small talk.
3 comments:
I have a time for small talk to add: You're a full-time missionary (or even a member missionary) and you'd like to connect with someone (or you feel inspired to connect with someone) and work your testimony into the conversation. When someone asks about your weekend plans, tell them about church, your calling, and family history. They'll either quit talking to you or you'll be able to share the gospel. :)
Mamie made frequent trips to the branch post office. One day she confronted a long line of people who were waiting for service from the postal clerks. Mamie only needed stamps, so a helpful observer asked, “Why don’t you use the stamp machine? You can get all the stamps you need and you won’t have to stand in line.” Mamie said, “I know, but the machine can’t ask me about my arthritis.”
We're not all introverts, you know. Much love!
We aren't all introverts, but some of us are. I wish we could have an outward symbol so people could know who would appreciate some small talk and who wouldn't. Also, I think the postal clerk knew Mamie and wasn't a stranger. Otherwise, how would they know to ask about the arthritis?
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