Books I Read in May 2018

The sad truth:  I only finished two books in May.

We Were The Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter ****

This book was kind of hard for me to get into, mostly because there were a ton of characters to keep straight and maybe I have Holocaust fatigue.  I knew it would be sad.  I actually ended up really liking the book though.  The author is the granddaughter of one of the characters and it's the true story of their Jewish family in Poland during World War II.  It was a really remarkable story full of resilient people and history I didn't know before.

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin **

This was a Newbery given to me for Mother's Day by one of my darling children and went toward my goal of reading + owning all the Newbery winners.  The book was just OK.  It had really zany characters and a compelling enough plot (even though it was a little complicated sometimes).  I realized what I didn't love about the book is that you didn't really get to the inside workings of any of the characters' minds.  I guess I like a little introspection.

The first day of summer

Here's an update on what feels like the first day of summer.  (It is even forecast to be 80 degrees today which definitely feels like summer.)

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The last day of school is Thursday but Mark is done.  Today the ninth graders are going to Lagoon and he isn't. (They didn't make it last time because of an accident on the Frontrunner train.)  Thursday is the "movie" day in the auditorium that won't fit the entire student body by any stretch of the imagination so they don't expect anyone to go.

Public school always seems to end with a whimper.  At least in junior high and high school.

So Mark is done and I am still going to make him do some English and he's not super happy about it.

He told me he will try to be agreeable.  I would rather him say he will be agreeable, but I'll take try.

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Emma is working a lot of hours and unlike yesterday, she remembered her ID badge today.  So that's good.  She attends a local YSA ward in the summer with a lot of her high school friends and a personalized invitation was left on our door last night for a ward campout. Emma is much like her mother.

Indoorsy.

She loves not camping.

I asked her if she was going and the answer was a solid no.

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Braeden is home this week but next week begins his first session as an EFY counselor.  He's excited and I'm excited for him.  I know he will love it.

In the meantime, this week, he is spreading sunshine around wherever he goes and bolstering those that need bolstering (me, usually).  Yesterday morning he took Mark and Liliana and Ruben to the temple to do baptisms and it made me happy.  Cousin time is always happy time.  (Olivia was at the temple too and I was here with Marcos, Ammon and Omar.  I think I underwhelmed them with my ability--or lack of ability--to use our TV.)

Last night we went to Solo (we were supposed to go last Saturday but Mark was too sick so just Emma and Braeden went Saturday and everyone except Emma went last night).  We are going to leave in a few minutes for a walk and I know that the topic of conversation between the two boys will be Solo and I will be trying to keep up with their long strides.

(I miss walking with my friends in Washington.  We never talked about Star Wars movies and I could always keep up.)

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I have a change on my horizon.  It looks like I'm going to be working next year as a teacher's aid.  It will give me points towards getting relicensed as a teacher.  And also I'm excited to be in a school which is one place I love to be.  I'm nervous because the last time I had a job was 1996.

My mom and sisters and Adam have been wonderful at giving me pep talks and understanding the whole exciting/anxiety-inducing-big-change dynamic.  I've loved being a full time mom.  It's who I am.

But now this.  And I'm excited.  And nervous.

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Adam has another business trip to Las Vegas this week and it's my turn to join him.  Las Vegas does not make my list of places I'd like to go, but Adam tops my list of people I'd like to go anywhere with so I'm looking forward to going.

Driving down the open road with Adam delights me.

So does summer.

Memorial Day

I love Memorial Day.  I love the version of Memorial Day that my family celebrates.  I was an adult when I realized most people consider the holiday to be about veterans and people who died fighting for our country.  I honor those people also, but in our family Memorial Day was always more of a Die de Muertos where we visit cemeteries and talk about and honor our kindred dead.  It helps that it is super convenient because in four cemeteries that are all really close together, we can visit Dahls, Jaynes, Woods, Riches, Egberts, Gardners, Atwoods, Batemans, Yorgasons, Dowdings, Van Tassels, on and on and on.

At every headstone, my sisters and I would declare who it was and how we were related and my mom or grandma would clear up any misconceptions or confusions we had.  We took the obligatory family group shot at my grandpa's grave, but I don't have a copy of that one.

I do have this picture with these lovely ladies.  We are the ones who resemble Ellen Yorgason Dahl on the Family Search feature of Compare a Face.  I am proud to be in the company of these women.

Marianne, Emma, me and Liliana

Here's the quintessential photo of the cannon at the Murray Cemetery.  We have pictures of kids by this thing for decades.

This is the sadly overgrown house where my Grandpa Jaynes was raised.  My great grandpa (his dad) was raised there too.)

This is my dad photo bombing my picture of the house where my grandpa was raised.

Hyrum, Robert, Adam, Braeden and Morgan

This is what our menfolk do for moral support when confronted with being married to/the son of a Dahl sister.  They were all coincidentally lying the exact same way.

Here's a group of us (I'm wearing Mark's flannel shirt because I got cold and he gave me the shirt off his back) in front of the rock church by the West Jordan cemetery that some of our family members help build.

Here's one of about 30 selfies Mark took with my phone when I asked him to take a picture of us in front of the rock church.

It was a spectacular day.  I love family traditions and spending the day with my sisters and parents and grandma and a few aunts and uncles.  It is wonderful to feel connected, to be part of something bigger than myself.  I am grateful for all my ancestors who lived in the Salt Lake valley and worked hard and stayed faithful and created strong families to root me.

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers.

Malachi 4:6

Naturally

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

My poor Markie was super sick on Saturday.  I don't know if it was food poisoning or what but it flattened him.  Like mothers everywhere, seeing our children sick makes me sad and wish I were sick instead.  I think at such times about mothers whose children are really grievously sick and my heart aches for them.

Saturday night Braeden was using Adam's phone to read scriptures to us and Mark texted from the basement (cell phones = intercom).

Braeden had Adam's phone so he's the one that texted 4 days.  Adam was not an innocent bystander of this deceit of my poor baby though.  He told Braeden to text Mark that we had his yearbook (which they're passing out at school on Tuesday).

I told them they were terrible and I went to see Mark.

He was feeling a bit better after his little nap.  I rubbed his back and talked to him and he told me that he felt like he was in a Masterpiece movie and he was one of "those girls" that's so sick and their mother comes rushing to their side.

I said, "At least we didn't bleed you."

Mothers rushing to the side of their sick children--that is the most natural thing in the world.  It's what we do.

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There have been a few school shootings since I started volunteering at an elementary school.  One time I wondered what I would do if a gunman was in the school.  I knew immediately.  Even though I don't know any of those kids really well, I am pretty sure I would stand between them and danger.  It feels like the natural thing to do.  Instinct.

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I have been haunted all weekend by a picture I saw of women cheering after Ireland voted to lift the ban on abortion.

I didn't read the news article because the picture was enough to break my heart.

To my eyes, the picture showed women cheering because now it is legal in Ireland to kill babies.  How is that possible?  It struck me as the most unnatural thing in the world.

All the arguments of "my choice" and "my body" fall on deaf ears for me.  I figure proponents of abortion have got to rationalize the choice by convincing themselves an unborn baby is less than human (the same way I imagine slave owners rationalized their slaves were less than human).

Otherwise, how could you ever be in favor of such a thing?

I know what it's like to have a baby growing inside of me.  I know how that feels.

That's why that picture haunted me.

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

Grateful Friday

What a week!  I refuse to believe this is just life and how it is.  Instead I keep thinking this is a busy time that will be gone soon.

Hope springs eternal.  (Delusion springs eternal?)

(Also, some of the big things that have been keeping me busy are ending for the summer.)

So what do I have to be grateful for in the midst of all this nonsense?  My family.  They have been super helpful and supportive.  They have listened to me wail and received tirade texts from me when I was frustrated.  (Just FYI, Emma is the best person to text if you need to rant.  She replies with things like "Oh no" and "Savage" and then I just feel better.)

Braeden and Adam are co-counselors for my mental health.  Emma is this rock I can rely on who just quietly shows up to help and brings me Rancheritos.  Mark is my everlasting MVP sidekick.  He joined me on a Herculean shopping trip because I was in charge of the food for our big Relief Society garden party.  He also cleaned the bathroom.

Emma's favorite is staying home where the people aren't, but she asked me if I wanted her to go to Relief Society with me last night.  I had to go 1 1/2 hours early.  She asked, "Would you rather have me go help you set up or go to the party or both?  What would be the best for you?"  I told her I wanted her to come with me.  So she did.  She helped me with the decorations and the schlepping of all the things and sat by me at the dinner which is my favorite.

I asked her to text Adam and Mark (Braeden was at his EFY training) to see if they would come and help us at clean up time.  Then I looked up and Adam and Mark were striding in and carrying a ladder (because we'd hung a bunch of stuff up high in the trees.  Adam and Mark and Emma became everyone's helpers.  Whenever there was something heavy to be carried, there was Mark.  He would stuff whatever food he'd nabbed from the food table into his mouth and then haul whatever needed to be hauled.

You can't underestimate how much all this means to me.

I appreciate these people.

World's Okayest Mom

Braeden told me that he used to feel jealous of the 1st graders I work with but now he just thinks they're cute.

I said, "You were jealous you didn't get to go to the school too?"

"No," he said, "I was jealous you loved them more than me."

I told him that was the weirdest thing he'd ever said, and that is saying something.  He said, "Really?  I think I've said a lot weirder things than that."

Then he thought about it awhile and said it wasn't jealousy he used to feel, he had a negative emotion when I talked about the students and he assigned jealousy, but now he thinks he just felt bad for them because they were struggling.

(It is well established that Braeden will do anything for someone who is suffering which is why Mark started exclaiming dramatically about back pain when he was trying to get Braeden to help him empty the garbage.)

I walked by Felicia, my fiddle leaf fig, and I noticed one of her leaves was askew.  Braeden said, "I maybe brushed against it the other day."

"If you're going to be jealous of anything, be jealous of Felicia.  I do love her more than I love you."

(This may be something I learned from my dad.  Once when I was using his Garcia saddle he told me it was worth more than me so to make sure I came home with it.)

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I mentioned I wanted to grow cilantro and Emma said, "Why do you want to grow the devil's lettuce?  Some people think it's marijuana, but it's cilantro."

(Emma doesn't like cilantro, in case that wasn't clear.)

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The worst part of every day (every day we remember) is me putting Mark's elastics in his mouth.  He has to wear three and one of them is really hard to put in.  You have to go from the inside on the top to the outside on the bottom.  He can't do it and I'm the only one in the family with small enough fingers to do it.  (I don't have exceptionally small hands, but I do have small hands for a Davis.)  Every night (that we remember) he lays on my bed with his mouth agape like a baby bird and I wrestle with those elastics and curse the name of our orthodontist.

The other night, I was telling him a story, like I do, and really botching the elastics.  I was flinging them all around his mouth and accidentally digging my fingernails into his gums and he finally said, "You have to stop talking.  You are not on the top of your game here and you need to focus."

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So the point of all this, if there is one (and if you are a reader of this blog, you know there isn't always a point), is that motherhood:  not easy.

You have conversations where you tell your child you love a plant more than him, you can't please your children, and sometimes you just talk too much and need to focus.

I recently read Real Moms by Lisa Valentine Clark (liked the book plus another sticker for Worm Joe!) and I've been thinking about motherhood.  What makes a good mother?  There's really no good way for us to gauge.  Sometimes we try to think that it's based on good outcomes.  We have good kids = we are good mothers.  That's not fair though.  Free agency, you know.  Are we good mothers because other people think we're good mothers?  Because our houses are tidy?  Our kids are wearing reasonably clean clothes?  We have healthy kids?  Smart kids?  I don't know.  I don't think any of those are a good measure.

Probably the only one who knows whether or not we're a good mother is God, because He sees us trying.  I don't know very many mothers who aren't trying, so here's my conclusion:  every mother is a good mother.

You heard it here first.

My life in memes

Olivia and her kids are going to stay with us next Monday.  We were on the phone, arguing over whether or not I would get the sleeping pads out for her kids or they would just sleep on the floor.  I thought, Am I really having this discussion?  They're my sleeping pads and I'll get them out if I want to.

"The floor's carpeted isn't it?" asked their mother, who would apparently be a good Spartan.

I'm getting out the sleeping pads.

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I needed the boys to move a hydrangea plant (btw, hydrangeas have bigger root balls than you'd expect.)

Mark was slow to come and then when he finally made his move, his move was to stop in the kitchen to make a sandwich.

In exchange, he had to weed a few extra flower beds.

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One of the little first graders I work with told me yesterday at great length about her pets and her grandma's pets.  They have a regular menagerie.  Dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens, ducks.  She itemized names and colors and markings.  Then she told me in more detail than I needed to know how some of them had died and what weird and gross ailments they had.

(There's a reason we have Horace as a pet.  Only Horace.)

I kept interrupting her and telling her it was time to read, but have you ever tried to get a 6 year old, who is passionate about her animals, to stop naming all her chickens?  It doesn't matter who thinks they're the captain.

Just a plain day

All of the sudden summer feels fleeting and Mark isn't even out of school yet.

Emma is starting training for a new job today and Braeden leaves tomorrow for EFY counselor training.

I'll see less of both of them.

These have been busy days and sometimes complain-y days (by me, because of the busyness), but they've also been good days.

Last night I was thinking about the day and how really unremarkable it was but that I'd like to capture it and remember it.

Here are some things that happened yesterday:

We finally, mostly, got the basement squared away.  It was sort of a banner day in that respect.  We no longer have a toy room (except Legos in the bunk room) so there was a lot of deciding with the toys.  Luckily Mark is my least sentimental child which makes cleaning with him the easiest.

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I remembered how difficult it is to put fitted sheets on the top bunk mattress.  Add to that that the ladder was in the basement and there were Lego creations all over the floor because the boys had been creative Sunday afternoon.

A smarter person would have moved the legos or retrieved the ladder, but I thought, I can do this!

I climbed up and used the window sill to boost myself up at the top of the bed.  Then I moved to the bottom and on my way down, I stood on that white piece of furniture pictured above which is flimsy and wobbled precariously.

"I almost died!" I told Emma.

She looked up slowly from the book she was reading and said, "I'm glad you're still with us."

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I gave each kid their pile of laundry to put away and threatened them with torture if they just set them down in their rooms rather than put the clothes away.

One of the kids, I can't remember which one, said, "Oh yeah, name five songs they did."

What does that even mean?  Just my weird kids with their weird taunts.

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I was playing the piano and thought of two things to tell Emma.  I finished the song and told her the first thing, and then I forgot what the second one was.  Emma instructed me to go back to the piano.  I played the second half of the song and remembered the second thing!  (And it had nothing to do with the song or the piano or anything.)

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Braeden didn't go anywhere yesterday so his extroverted self was antsy and glum.  Emma and I discussed that that is how we feel on days we have to go somewhere.

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We had egg salad sandwiches for dinner.  I boiled 11 eggs because that was what we had and I figured it would be too much but everyone loves leftovers.  Between that and the entire loaf of bread, it wasn't enough.  I forget how much these boys eat.  (Soon that will be the Cannon Center's problem though while Braeden is at EFY.)

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A shipment from Ulta arrived for Emma while she was gone so she took the opportunity to try her new makeup out yesterday.  She showed me the results and said, "I know it's a lot, but I wanted to try out ALL of the makeup."

All of the makeup--pretty much sums up Emma.

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Braeden taught us a family home evening lesson with the same sweetness and earnestness that he asked me earlier in the day to help him with family history.  It's such a good feeling even though there's nothing I did to deserve a kid who just really wants to be good and do good.

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We saved watching the next episode of Little Women until our own little woman, Emma, was home so we watched it last night.  Watching it with Mark is an experience.  Adam said it was like Mystery Science 3000 except Masterpiece Science 3000.  For example, when Jo rebuffed Laurie, Mark said like he was talking over a radio, "Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time."

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Adam took Braeden on a W.A.D. (Winco After Dark) adventure to give him an opportunity to get out of the house.  Adam loves W.A.D. and now you know why we have weird kids.

When strep throat wins

Friday morning I felt just fine, top of the world.  Braeden and I took a nice walk and I felt enthusiastic about everything I was going to get done.

I had a slight sore throat but I was choosing to ignore it.

By lunchtime, the slight sore throat was a real sore throat.

So I took a bunch of Advil, like you do.

As the day progressed I felt worse and worse though.  The Advil wasn't helping.

Adam kept telling me to go to the doctor and just get it over with.  As mentioned before, I could be a strep throat doctor myself and I know enough to know that my symptoms wouldn't show up yet on a rapid strep test.  I also thought I had strep throat and maybe if I got antibiotics, I could stem the tide of everyone in the family getting it too.  Oh, and also FEEL BETTER.  Because I was feeling lousy.

I went to the doctor and it was the same one who had treated Adam the night before.  She asked me how he was doing.  "Is he taking Advil and Tylenol?"  I told her no.  I told her he is not a very good patient.

(Besides antibiotics, the man won't take medicine.  I have no idea.)

Sure enough, strep did not show up on the test but she figured I had it.  She said, "I'll give you a prescription and you can just hang onto it and then go fill it if you feel worse."

I thought that sounded like a fair idea.

Then she looked in my throat.

"Well, I'm going to go ahead and call the prescription in to the pharmacy," she said.  I guess my throat didn't look too promising.

So I felt pretty terrible all weekend.  Mostly just devoid of any energy.  For example, Braeden had brought a water bottle to my room in case I was thirsty.  I woke up several times in the middle of the night thirsty, but it was too much effort to get a drink, because the water was (5 feet away) on the dresser.  It was sort of comical and pathetic how little energy Adam and I had.  At one point my feet were cold and I wanted socks but couldn't muster the courage to go get some.  Then Adam got up and I asked him for socks.

He laughed at me and asked, "How long have you been thinking about socks."

"A while," I said.

He understood.

Saturday afternoon, Adam was feeling better enough to want to go for a drive.  He took the boys and told them he'd get them lunch.  He sent me this:

They brought me home a fortune cookie which is the only thing I want from a Chinese restaurant anyway.

This was the fortune:

I know what you're thinking, creale isn't a word.  Maybe creale means strep throat though.  Or maybe strep throat is the unconventional person.  Makes you think.

The boys really were exceptionally good to us all weekend.  They happily ran up and down the stairs to fetch us things and did dishes and mowed the lawn and said encouraging things to us.

Emma was with her friends at their ranch near Capitol Reef so she missed out on all the...fun.  She went to church in Boulder and then had lunch with Tabor and Katie and their girls after church so I don't think she missed out on anything.

Sunday, late afternoon, I was ready to get out of the house.  We drove to the Provo City Center temple.  We parked and were walking toward it.  I said, "Wow, I feel so great!  This is the best I've felt."

"Pace yourself," Adam said in a slightly foreboding tone.

After the half block we'd walked, sure enough, I was exhausted.  We sat on a park bench and enjoyed the flowers and plants.

A lot of the same things we have planted in our yard (except we don't have roses) are planted at the Provo City Center Temple.  Everything at the temple is lush and thriving and it's like they are trying to make us look bad.

But I forgive them because it's beautiful.

Grateful Friday

Things I'm grateful for today:

May in Pleasant Grove.

It's downright pleasant.  And all the trees are filling up with green leaves and it does feel like a grove in some places.  I love feeling the warm sun and hearing all the birds and seeing all the flowers.  And it's not stupid hot yet.

Making summer plans.

It's shaping up to be a good one.  I'm particularly excited about the reunion of college friends that I'm working on.  It's been 27 years since we met which is staggering.  We had a really great time back then and we're all still friends and I'm looking forward to getting together.  I will be careful not to drink anything though because I'm pretty sure Adam and Robbie both have the ability to make me spew at any given time.  The group messages related to the reunion alone are delighting me.

Time with my kids.  

Every morning I give Braeden and Emma tasks to do around the house and that's sort of wonderful.  We're all in and out all day with appointments and job stuff and the like but we're together too.  And they're super willing to transport Mark hither and yon and that is worth a lot.

Time with my strong kids.

One afternoon this week we disassembled a twin bed and moved it upstairs.  We moved the queen bed out of Braeden's room and into Mark's new room (which used to be the toy room).  Emma and I started to build a king bed frame in Braeden's room while the boys rebuilt the twin bed and reattached the bunk beds in the newly named "bunk room" (which used to be Mark's room).  Mark is the wind beneath our wings with any assembling project.

Mark came and helped us finish up building the king bed frame.

We decided to wait for Adam to get the king mattress from the top floor, down two flights of stairs to the basement.

Turns out Adam was having one of those weeks and he was home from work briefly and then had church stuff to do.

"We've got this!" I told my brute squad because they've pretty much been training for this their whole lives.

Emma and I lowered the mattress over the railing into the waiting arms of the boys down in the family room and we were all laughing really hard and Braeden kept saying they would probably be crushed to death but it worked.

We muscled the thing down the basement stairs (which have a 180 turn in them) and then shuffled it down the hall to Braeden's room.  At one point, Braeden said to Emma, "Dang girl, you're strong."

They all are.

Which makes the amount of food they consume pay off occasionally.

Adam

As mentioned, it was a busy week for that man and he ended up sick.  Usually Adam just powers through sickness and it doesn't slow him down.  Sometimes, rarely, it knocks him flat.  At those times 1) I want him to go to the doctor because I know it's something significant and 2) I realize how much I take his solid presence for granted.

Last night, with Braeden as my ally, I made him go to the doctor.  I thought he had strep throat because he sounded like he had strep throat.  (Ever since Mark had strep throat off and on for about a year before he got his tonsils out, I've been able to diagnose it.  For only one disease, I could be a doctor.)

Adam insisted he didn't have strep throat but I think was too weak to keep arguing with me.

I was right and now the man is on antibiotics.  Hurray for antibiotics!

Summer reading

For Family Home Evening we talked about health goals for the summer.  Physical health, spiritual health, etc.

I said, "What about...intellectual health?"  (Still don't know if that's a thing but I had an agenda as you will see.)

I looked at Mark meaningfully and said, "This is like when my mom sends all her children emails about the dangers and woes of Diet Coke and she really means them just for me."

Mark coolly ignored me.

I continued, "I want us to read this summer."

Emma got excited and said, "I'll make sticker charts!"

Braeden said, "I think literary pursuits are their own reward."

Mark said, "If we read can we go to Top Golf at the end of the summer?"

So there you have it.  We suddenly had a summer reading program.

Emma's creativity can't be contained with just a sticker chart so she created a bookworm for each of us, complete with a name and a personality.  And she used the default fonts each of us use on our own computers.  She's just her own kind of awesome.

She has a stash of stickers for us to use.  She's not particularly interested in going to Top Golf but she's in the 2/3 of the children who will read anyway.  Worm Patrick is the one that we need buy in from.

The idea was a sticker for every book you read but Braeden is reading unabridged Les Miserables so we amended it.  If you read 250 pages, you get a sticker.

Do other mothers with children this age have reading sticker charts?

I don't know.

Maybe they should.  (I'm totally going to win.)

When your son turns against you

I overheard this the other day.

Braeden:  So is it hard not being the only child at home anymore?

Mark:  No, I'm glad to have my brother and sister back.  Besides, imagine all of Mom's fury pointed at you.  All the time.

When your van turns against you

First it was the tire last week and the ensuing time spent at Costco waiting and waiting and waiting to get it repaired and then replaced.

On Friday, Braeden and I went to the temple and the battery seemed to be having troubles.  We thought it was the connection which gets loose thanks to the bumpy roads we drive in our fair city.  Adam tightened the connections and we were going to take it to our mechanic on Monday just in case.

Saturday it rained so we decided not to do yard work like planned and instead we decided to work on our bed/bedroom switch.

Here's the thing.

Don't buy your sons twin beds.

That wasn't in any of the parenting books or articles I read back when I used to read parenting books and articles.  Mark has outgrown his bed so we're doing a big switcharoo and Adam and I decided to go to IKEA to buy bed parts.

We took the van, even though we knew it was having troubles, because we thought driving to IKEA on those smooth Draper roads would just charge the battery right up and we'd be in good shape.

Turns out it wasn't just the battery.

Maybe the alternator?  I had no idea.  But, yes, it was the alternator.  And spoiler alert, alternators aren't cheap.  I know nothing about cars.  (You noticed?) Nothing except for mine has apparently turned against me.  It is kind of exciting to be driving along and have your car all at once lose all power though.

It helps you know you're alive.

The boys came to our rescue and it must be said, if you're going to spend a few hours unexpectedly waiting for a tow truck and all that jazz, Adam and Braeden and Mark are good company.

The boys love nothing more than coming to my rescue.  They channel Sylvester from It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.

"I'm coming for you Mama!  You're baby's coming for you!"

I told Mark that we can't talk any more while we're in the van about what other car I want to eventually buy.  From now on, we can only say supportive things.

Because that van has been vindictive.

Mother's Day

At church on Sunday, Brother Miles asked me if I was one of those women who likes Mother's Day or hates it.

"I love it!" I said.  (Because I do.)

"You don't feel guilty?"

"No," I said, "Why should I feel guilty?  I am a great mother.  I mean, you've met my kids."

"That's true," he said.

(Brother Miles is one of those people that you can be kind of sassy to like that.)

I've never understood why mothers feel guilty on Mother's Day.  Because you're not a perfect mother?  No one is.  To me that's like not liking your birthday and feeling guilty because you're not a perfect human.  Just celebrate!

I like Mother's Day because after church when my boys asked me when was dinner and what was for dinner and they were circling me like vultures, I told them it was Mother's Day and so dinner was entirely up to them.  "Let me know when it's ready," I said.

I, of course, wouldn't have really left it in their hands because I wanted to eat, after all.  Those chocolates they gave us at church only have so much sustaining power.  Adam led the charge for the creation of a wonderful steak dinner.

One of my favorite parts of Mother's Day this year was the gift Stella sent me, from one Mama Bear to another.

This came in the mail along with a picture.

Meet Clementine:

When Emma got home from work and I showed her, she said, "I have a sister!"

And she is adorable.

Another highlight of the day also included bears.  At my request, we read Winnie the Pooh aloud.  Some even wore costumes for the occasion.

I love Winnie the Pooh read aloud and I love that our kids love Winnie the Pooh too.  We were all laughing and I thought, this is where it's at.

Right here.

Nowhere I'd rather be.

Grateful Friday

It was not an easy week.  Perhaps the hardest part of all was that I thought it would be a good week, a week where I would be productive and could recuperate from the previous busyness.  (Sometimes being the right amount of productive is restorative to me.)

But it was not an easy week.

I texted a distress call to Adam and he ducked out of his conference and called me.

We talked for about 5 minutes and he said all the things that he intuitively knows that I need him to say even though I don't know that that is what I need him to say.

Being married to someone who understands me and loves me anyway, even when I am sort of floundering along, is one of the great blessings of my life.

Other things I'm grateful for today:

1. I'm going to the temple this morning with Braeden

2. Everything is green outside

3. It's outside planting season

4. It's Friday

The Mudge

Mark, a man of many nicknames, has acquired a new one.  The Mudge, as in curmudgeonly.

Because he is.

There is a ninth grade Lagoon day.  It's a local, sort of lame, amusement park.  I used to go sometimes when I was growing up but we went to Lagoon the first full summer that we lived here and it was not worth it.  I didn't leave anything there and so I'm never going back.

Mark is 15 though and all his friends are going.  I thought he would want to go.

"I'd rather stay home," he said.  Reminding me for the millionth time of his namesake.

For Driver's Ed, he carries a small pillow to sit on.  They have to sit in these hard chairs for 3 hours straight and one of his friends, who has taken Driver's Ed before, recommended he bring a pillow to sit on and he does.

I asked him yesterday if anyone else brings a pillow.

"No," he said. "Just me."

"Because you're The Mudge?"

"Yep."

Speaking of Driver's Ed, he sends dire texts sometimes during it:

He also had Driver's Ed homework last night.  He had to locate all the things in Loki (the car he will eventually, probably, be driving).  He was figuring out the lights, etc. and then he needed to check the oil.

"How do I do that?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"Really?"

We popped the hood and he tsked at me because I didn't immediately see where the little thing to hold up the hood was located.  He quickly surmised how to check the oil.

He asked, "Is this a straight four?"

I told him he was adorable to think I would have any clue about that.

He asked, "Where is the coolant?"

"I don't know, on the left?"

"That's wiper fluid."  He shook his head at me and gave me a look that is EXACTLY like the look my dad would give me in a similar situation.

I left him to it.  Because I was obviously a lot of help.

Curmudgeonly or not, I like being with Mark.  He and I are the only ones home because Braeden and Emma joined Adam on a business trip.  I was expecting to get a lot accomplished in everyone's absence and that has not happened, but spending the evenings with Mark is a consolation for my unproductive days spent at Costco dealing with the tire situation (at least yesterday I took a book with me).

Mark and I have sat on the deck and eaten the leftover brownies from a dinner party we went to on Monday.  We've snuggled and watched an episode of Corner Gas, we've discussed changing his room to the basement.  When he isn't silently judging me for not knowing about cars, he is the most laid back and pleasant person to be around.

One time Emma said that sometimes when she's upset, all she needs is Mark.  She said, "I tell him what is wrong and he just quietly listens and then he changes the subject and that is exactly what I need."

I'm glad that curmudgeon is in my life.

Balance sheet

I am certifiably the worst accountant in the world.  If there were trophies for such thing, I'd have a big shiny one.

I do know what a balance sheet is though and I was considering the balance sheet of yesterday last night when I felt like either curling into the fetal position or hitting my head against the wall or maybe both.

It was one of those days.

The day dawned with sunshine and promise.  I had a list of tasks in front of me but time to do them.  I was going to get a start on repainting my kitchen table and start on some online courses I'm taking to get relicensed to be a teacher.  I was going to do all the things.  Like a boss.

Then, after I was done volunteering and at Home Depot buying some paint supplies, Braeden called.  He and Emma were at the store and wondered if I wanted to get lunch.  (This is usually code for wondering if I want to buy them lunch.)  I said no thanks because I had a million things I wanted to do at home and also, we had food at home.

Braeden started doing what he does, expertly wearing me down.  He said he and Emma wanted to buy me lunch as an early mother's day gift.

I relented.

As I was driving toward the appointed restaurant, still feeling like I would rather just go home and get to work, I must have hit something while driving because I very suddenly had a very flat tire.

Braeden and Emma came to help me.  Both of them learned how to change a tire when they started driving but neither of them had ever had to change one before.  Also, I was in a light colored skirt so they did most of the work.

Also the skirt will probably never be the same.

As we were contemplating the jack, I considered whether or not we should just go check Mark out of school and have him do it.  He's the one that gets how to do stuff.

We figured it out though (with a FaceTime call to Adam to have him tell us which way the spare tire went on).  We aren't much.

I headed to Costco to get the flat repaired and the kids followed behind.  They said they'd still take me to lunch while the van was at Costco.  The line was huge just to get them to look at the tire though and moving at a snail's pace.  I sent them to lunch without me and asked them to pick up Mark from school and take him to Driver's Ed.  They worried about leaving me, sans lunch, but I assured them I was fine, I mostly really needed Mark transported where he needed to go.

I had a Costco hot dog for lunch and I don't even like those things.

I lamented via text that I didn't have a book to read and Braeden sent me this:

Lemony Snicket is not wrong on that one.

After about 1 1/2 hours, the friends at the tire center told me that my tire was beyond repair and they needed to order a new one.

I went home slowly with the mini spare tire and with my head hanging low, hours later than I wanted to be.

Mark texted to say where to pick him up after Driver's Ed.  Too late, I realized that didn't exactly mean he was ready to be picked up, he was just letting us know where.  Why would he do that?

So I drove home again.  And I started thinking about the balance sheet of the day.

On the minus side, it just didn't go like I planned at all.  I had STUFF TO DO.  Adam said the universe had other plans and I think the universe should just mind its own business and leave me alone.

On the plus side, I was back at volunteering and those kids delight me, always.  I was listening to a little girl read.  She said, "I really like these books.  I wonder where I could find some books like these."

"The library?" I suggested.

She got really excited and said, "Yes!  The library!"

Another plus is that I basically had a tire blow out on the freeway but was able to limp to safety and then I had my kids to help me change it.

More pluses?  Braeden and Mark carried the behemoth table to the garage before school.  I like strong sons.  Braeden and Emma did laundry and dishes and vacuumed for me because my day had been shot to pieces.  I like helpful kids.

Finally, when I asked Mark what he wanted to do (he and I were the only ones home last night), he said, "Introverts:  unite separately."

I gave him a grateful high five.

On the minus side he had homework from Driver's Ed that was for parents.

What kind of deal is this?!?

Somedays are just like that.

Poetry

Inspired by the Curiouser exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art, we had a Sunday night poetry session, using our books.  We tried our best.  (Our poems aren't as good as hers.)

Here are some of my favorites:

by Adam

by Mark, who probably shouldn't be a kindergarten teacher

by Mark, who probably shouldn't be any kind of teacher

by Braeden

by Braeden

I think this is by Braeden?

by Braeden, reusing The Dark is Rising

by Emma

by Emma

by me

by me

by me, for introverts everywhere

by me, trying to prime the Mother's Day gift pump

Icing on the cake

I loved Women's Conference, you know that.  But then Friday afternoon, Marianne and I, after sitting awhile in the sun and just talking about all the things like we do, joined the class where our mom and Olivia were.  We found seats and looked to the right and there were Wendy and Rachel and Heather and Toni!

When Marianne was a freshman at BYU, Wendy was her next door neighbor and fast friend.

When I was a freshman at BYU, Rachel, Wendy's younger sister, was my next door neighbor (I know!  What are the chances!)and fast friend.

By then, our older sisters had an apartment off campus so we were a commingled sister group.

Erin and I used to keep our door ajar so Rachel could come in whenever she wanted.  She would answer our phone, "Hello, Allure speaking."  (She claims to not remember doing that, but I promise she did.)

Rachel is one of my favorites.

For the rest of college, Rachel and I were roommates and when our older sisters returned from missions we were all together.  One summer term Olivia lived with us too.

It was straight up amazing that we ran into each other and such a happy reunion.

I skipped the next session to sit and chat with Rachel and Wendy and we all sat together during the closing session.

Friends that are like family are one of life's greatest pleasures.  I've seen Rachel a handful of times over the years but I haven't seen Wendy for probably 20 years and it was like no time had passed (except for our darn kids who are old enough that we can't pretend we haven't aged a bit).

The Jones girls (none of them are Jones anymore) and the Dahl girls (none of us are Dahls anymore) posed for a picture:

Wendy, Marianne, Rachel, me, Heather, Olivia and Toni

I am hoping for a reunion this summer with Erin and Rachel and Robbie.  There's nothing quite like getting the gang back together.

Grateful Friday

BYU Women's Conference!  It's one of the most wonderful times of the year.  I love it all.  I love being with my girls.  It is just an easy, laughing, understanding, confiding sort of time.  I love being on BYU campus.  Even though I'm on campus WAY more often than I used to be, it still makes me happy.  I love hearing the speakers and feeling uplifted and like they knew exactly what I needed to hear.  I love all the Women's Conference hacks we've honed over the years to avoid 99% of the crowds and headaches.

(I would tell you, but then you might tell and then everyone would know and there would be no more secret strategies.)

Last night after the last session and a delicious dinner (where Olivia instructed us to each tell what we'd learned because she was finishing her dinner and stalling for time), we went to the Hale Theater to see Sense and Sensibility.

Oh my!

I LOVED it.  For one thing, Jane Austen.  For another thing, The Hale Theater.  Do I say this every time?  They blow me away with what they can accomplish in that tiny theater.  I laughed out loud over and over and over.  I loved sitting next to my mom, fellow Jane Austen aficionado, and looking over at each other occasionally and realizing that we were both just plain delighted.

Also, as a little bonus, Emma took someone's shift and so surprised me by being at the theater which only made me happier.

I'm looking forward to another great day.  I'm grateful for spring and Women's Conference and my kinswomen (who I adore) and for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that is really what makes it all so wonderful.

(Hey!  And Adam got home late last night and guess who has a date tonight?)

Don't believe the hype

Mothers (including me) lament their kids growing up.  It's sad.  It feels like the end of something wonderful.

Grown up children are pretty great though.  Maybe we have it all wrong and it really is a cause to rejoice when they get to be adults.

Tuesday night Adam was in Nashville and our guests had left and we were settling into a quieter routine.

After dinner we took a walk and talked about politics and social issues.  Everyone has their views and it causes a lively discussion.  They're smart kids though and I learn things from them.

We watched an episode of Arrested Development and then I went to my room to be alone.  Because sometimes that is my favorite.

Yesterday morning Mark reluctantly completed a first draft of an essay for his English class that I teach him.  You never met anyone so reluctant.

I asked Braeden to read his essay.

Braeden got a gleam in his eye and said, "Get me a pen."

He had Mark read the essay aloud and then he sat next to Mark on the couch and gave him notes.  He said, "I'm about to change your world, Bro.  I'm going to teach you some grammar."

Mark sat there looking reluctant, but he was a lot more compliant with his brother than he would be if it were me trying to change his world by teaching him grammar.

Later Braeden followed me upstairs.  He said, "I had no idea Mark could write that well."

And neither does Mark, but I still put him in Honors English next year.  Because I knew.

Last night it was time to pick Mark up and I was in the middle of preparing dinner.  Braeden went to get him while Emma set the table.

I had rescheduled Mark's voice lesson because of driver's ed and then forgot.  Mark's teacher texted, "Is Mark coming?"  I did something intelligent, like shriek, and run to check my calendar.   Emma jumped up and said, "I'll drive him."  Then she instructed Mark who was running around looking for socks and shoes.  "Go to Mom for a check."

Yes!  A check!  Mark and I would have been lost without her.  (I have checks for the sole purpose of voice lessons.)

Today and tomorrow I am going to Women's Conference at BYU.  (I am so excited!)  Since Adam is out of town it is wonderfully helpful that I have Wang Fire and Sapphire Fire here at the helm.  I am leaving them instructions for meal preparations and Mark transportation and the parent meeting for Driver's Ed.  They completely have it handled.

Someday maybe I'll be mournful when they are even more grown up and live far away.  For today, I love that our children are young adults.

Books I read in April 2018

I only finished two books in April.  I think I need the lazy reading days of summer, stat.

Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc by Mark Twain ***

We read this for book club.  It's one of those books I probably wouldn't have picked up and definitely wouldn't have finished if it wasn't for book club.  Reading it felt a lot like homework, especially since it was over 400 dense pages.  I am glad I read it though.  I can't pronounce Rouen, but I've been there and that is where Joan of Arc was tried and burned.  I also think Joan of Arc is remarkable and this book only solidified that feeling.   By the end of the book I was hopping mad at the French king and the terrible men who had her killed.

The Truth According to Us by Annie Barrows ****

I can't say enough good things about this book.  I had read it before (and talked about it on my blog before) but we are reading it for book club and I wanted to reread it.  I am a perfect candidate for rereading because I don't remember what I read all that well.

This book is impeccable though.  The story is great, the setting is great, the characters are perfectly drawn.  It is set during the Depression in small town West Virginia where they greet each other with "how-do" which delighted me.  One of the main characters is on the WPA and part of the Writer's Project and while she is writing a history of the town, she boards with the Romeyn family and the book is the unraveling of their complicated family history.

Let the wild rumpus begin

These three that look like a many armed beast:  where the wild things are + where I want to be.

Sunday we went for a drive to the Draper Temple.  We went up over Traverse Mountain just because.

scattered in front of the temple:  Me, Geri, Mark and Emma

Colorful tulips are a delight.  Adam took the pictures and we didn't get one of him.  He was there, I promise.

We have had a nice time.  Even with everyone around, I've been getting entertaining texts.  Emma sent a snippet of her blog that she was revisiting.  (She wrote it when she was nine.)

Geri took us to dinner last night and on the drive, Emma was reading funny blog posts of hers to us.  She said, "I had no idea I was so DRAMATIC!"

Geri and I just laughed.

Because we fully remember how dramatic she was.

Also, Emma sent me this:

We watched some home movies yesterday afternoon of Braeden's first Christmas which we'd spent with Linn and Geri.  Braeden pretty much has always liked some sort of limelight.

Mark is the unfortunate one.  He still has school plus he has a cold which was I'm sure aided and abetted by his late nights because of the show.

He also started Driver's Ed yesterday:

So I guess we're all a little dramatic.

I was a bit despairing of all the leftovers but that's sort of nonsense when you have everyone home.  Don't worry, the food is getting eaten.

There is a laundry pile from here to Kentucky so if you're going to worry about something, you can worry about that....