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Monday, September 30, 2019

The things they say

My students crack me up.  I don't even remember half the stuff they say to retell.  Here are some recent gems I do remember.

Student:  I'm going to a cabin with my family and my grandparents this weekend!  You know what that means, right?

Me:  What?

Student:  Two things:  fun and mashed potatoes.  That's what happens when you're with grandparents.

The next day he very seriously had to tell me something.

Student:  My dad said it isn't a cabin.  It's a condo.

I was grateful for the clarification.

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*

There was apparently someone lurking near the school and taking pictures of students.  The entire administration was alerted and on the case and my job was to calm the hysteria.  (Some of them just love to get hysterical and will take any opportunity.  For example:  that moth will give us rabies!)

Student:  He was taking pictures and he will murder us!

Another student:  Why would you even introduce that word?

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A student hit another third grader at recess.  The other third grade teacher and I were getting to the bottom of the story (just living my best life over here) and found out the other third grader swatted the ball away that my student was playing with so my student retaliated.

After I had calmed him down, I talked to him about the fact that if he hadn't reacted like that, he would not have gotten in trouble because at that point, only the other student was at fault.

Student:  Well my family was reading in the scriptures this morning and it said that if someone bites you, you can bite them back, so....

(side note:  The Old Testament is a long book and I probably haven't read every word in it, but still.)

Me: (when you are teaching in Orem UT and know this student's dad is a bishop)  That was the Law of Moses (kind of) and when Jesus came, He fulfilled the Law of Moses so now that isn't OK.

Student:  So if I'd lived 1000 years ago and someone bit me, I could bite them back?

Me:  Well, longer than that, but yes.

He nodded like the world suddenly made a lot more sense to him.

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