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Friday, April 24, 2009

Going Lighter


At the Pacific Science Center there is a scale that will tell you what your weight on the Sun is. I felt like I was on the Sun last night. I felt heavy laden and weary.

Yesterday was a day of flying from one thing to the next, always a few steps behind.

Yesterday was a day of reminding myself (again) to keep my big mouth shut (again) so I don’t make people mad/indignant (again).

Yesterday was a day of sad news then more sad news.

Yesterday was a day of Can I do all of this? Really?

I got home about 9:30 last night. I draped my legs across Adam's lap while he sat on the other end of the couch. We talked and I let his Adam-ness wash over me.

It helped.

Then he put me to bed and went to take a shower and leave for work. He had meetings in London starting at midnight and ending at 4:00 a.m. He participated in the meetings from his office in Seattle (the good news is he got a good parking spot). The company with desks made from doors is characteristically too frugal to fly him to London right now so while I slept my fatigue away, he worked. (He gets all of the jet lag of going to London and none of the airline miles.)

He called me this morning. He promised me he won’t fall asleep when he drives home in a few hours.

He told me how pretty it was to sit in the sunny misty air at 6:00 this morning and watch the water bubble in the fountain outside his office while he ate his breakfast purchased at Specialty’s Bakery.

I felt lighter.

The sun is shining.

I feel lighter.

I’ve decided that in addition to keeping my mouth shut, I will work at being kinder to other people when they forget to keep their mouths shut. I will try to listen to their hearts and their intentions.

I feel lighter.

Today Adam and I are going to the temple. I am looking forward to stepping away from current cares. I am looking forward to holding Adam’s hand as we walk through the temple doors and remembering he’s mine. Forever.

I feel lighter.

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