Friday, September 11, 2015

What happened?!?

My dad has often told me, quoting Mark Twain, that half my troubles never happen.

I doggedly keep thinking they will happen though.  You’ve got to admire that kind of tenacity, even when it’s misguided.

When I finally took matters in hand and decided to teach Braeden to go to sleep by himself when he was a year old, I braced myself for a terrible time. I decided Adam and I would play Scrabble and drown our sorrows in brownies.  Then Braeden…didn’t cry.  He went to sleep.

Oh.

I have felt dread about my life changing.  I’ve worried about being at loose ends with Braeden gone and Mark at school.  What would I possibly do to fill my time without homeschooling?  I couldn’t even imagine.  In an effort to comfort myself and plan for those long interminable stretches of time when I wouldn’t have much going on, I came up with a schedule of activities.

This week I’ve had multiple doctor and dentist appointments. (Including but not limited to eye doctor appointments—I love me some eye problems.  Apparently.)  I was in charge of feeding 60 mutual kids at church.  I didn’t have to do everything but I had to coordinate and buy things.  There are a multitude of other Young Women related things that had been on the back burner while I got Braeden ready to go that I need to attend to.  Then there’s all the other daily stuff.  Wednesday, I flung everything I bought at Costco in the kitchen, put the perishables in the fridge and headed out the door again to get Mark from school.  When we walked in the door later, it looked like we’d been robbed.  Or there had been a tornado.  I finally got time to put everything to rights and I honestly don’t know how I would have had time to homeschool that day.

All the spare time isn’t really working out.

I didn’t need to worry.

1 comment:

Olivia Cobian said...

In Relief Society one day our teacher said that the things you worry about never happen. I said, "That's why I worry about EVERYTHING." I'm ensuring that my fears won't be realized. It's tough, but somebody's got to do it.

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