Who...Me?

I am different from my sisters. If you knew my sisters you'd know what I'm talking about.

Sure, we have our similarities...a lot of them. We are all three trying our hardest to be like our mother when we grow up so we end up being a lot the same.

But there are differences. While they are effervescent in social situations and flit from person to person making sure everyone feels comfortable, I sit on the sidelines...sort of hoping no one will talk to me.

When we got to the reunion last week, my mom wanted me to go and mingle with my seldom seen cousins and aunts and uncles. I wanted to sit myself in the cocoon of my siblings.

At a ward party, I sat on a bench and watched my sisters in action until Tabor and Katie got there and I had someone to talk to.

I don't know why I'm so antisocial...I think I'm lazy. It's just easier to stay in my shell on the sidelines.

Tonight was the 4-H gala event of the year. A fund raising dinner and "slave auction" and dessert auction. I bought a plate of my niece Clarissa's cookies for $10 which was a steal. Emma paid Deseret $.50 to paint her face and Mark paid Emma $.50 to paint his (I'm assuming Emma gave the money to the Starr Valley 4-H club) and Braeden paid $3 to throw 36 sponges at someone.

He also thought he'd made a really good bargain.

My sisters were in the thick of things and I was lingering at the side. Wondering if I still fit in here at all...me with the dried out skin not used to the desert, me with the kids in sandals and shorts while every one else was wearing jeans and boots as far as the eye could see.

Then I talked to Doris. My mom asked Doris if she remembered me. She said, "Oh, yes. I remember Thelma. My mom always thought so much of Thelma."

Me? Really? People always think a lot of Marianne and Olivia...but Me? I sit on the side. I'm not all that friendly. Or cheerful.

But Mary Lou thought highly of me.

And I thought highly of her. And suddenly despite the sandal feet and kids in shorts and t-shirts, despite the fact that I no longer know everyone and everyone no longer knows me, I felt like I still do belong. I felt like it's OK to be Thelma, on the sidelines, not Marianne or Olivia.

Just Thelma.

And that's OK.