Calgon, Take Me Away

Do you remember those Calgon commercials where everything was falling apart and the woman would say, "Calgon, take me away" and land in a bubble bath, relaxing.

It doesn't work in real life.

I have Calgon moments 10-20 times a day.

This morning, I was doing some math with Braeden in our completely disheveled school room that I'm in the process of cleaning--out with the old school books and materials, in with the new, dusting the tops of the tall bookcases, stuff like that...it's scary.

It's nowhere near a good learning environment.

Emma came in meanwhile wondering if I'd seen her notebook, you know, the yellow one with...and then she stalled, gesturing her hands, trying to think of how to explain it to me.

Emma has several thousand notebooks in her possession so I had no idea what she was talking about.

Then Mark came in the room saying simultaneously that he was hungry and he wanted to tell me about a movie he'd watched last night and he wanted to practice his talk for primary.

Braeden kept telling me that his math wasn't making any sense.

I tried to keep my voice calm.

It was not hard math. He's pretty good at math. My patience was stretched nearly to its capacity. Just when I felt like I was going to lose it, the phone rang.

Emma answered it.

Then handed it to me.

It was our sweet Relief Society president. She's on her way to Utah and the other counselor is also gone so she wanted to tell me about a sister in need. She's been trying to get ahold of her and suggested I try her visiting teachers for help in reaching this sister in need.

I called the visiting teacher. I left a message, asking her to call me back. I started to leave my phone number and then midstream, I. Could. Not. Remember. My. Phone. Number. My friend Stephanie's number kept coming to mind but mine was lost in space.

I fumbled on the phone, admitting I couldn't remember my number. She has a stake directory, she'll figure it out.

What she probably can't figure out is how the rest of the Relief Society presidency can possibly feel comfortable going out of town at the same time and leaving me in charge.

The one who doesn't know her phone number.

I took a deep breath and went back to the school room. I pulled Braeden and Mark, who were wrestling, apart and sat Braeden down. I said, "OK. This is hard so you have to pay attention."

Braeden said OK and sat down obediently.

Then I realized I'd been doing the math wrong. I'd missed a number. I fixed it and Braeden said, "Oh! Now I get it."

So it's one of those days. But Calgon won't come and take me away.

I've already tried.