On Suffering

Yesterday Mark asked me which super power I would choose if I could have any super power. I thought carefully. I didn't want to waste my super power.

I finally decided that I would want my super power to be that I could go anywhere instantly. (My choice may have been colored by the fact that I was sitting in traffic on the Bothell Everett Highway at the time.)

Then traffic started moving and I tried to see through my murky eye and I decided that my super power of choice would be health.

Healthy all the time. Untouched by any sickness or ailment.

Because I'm still struggling with this eye.

I've been to the Dr. and it is no longer an eye infection (I think they're just randomly guessing at this point) but a stye and sinus infection. They've given me antibiotics but this morning I needed the jaws of life to get my poor eye open.

It is painful and ugly and just really annoying.

Yesterday Braeden got braces on (again). This time on every tooth. He was dreading it and predictably he's in pain and lisping and having a hard time eating.

I feel bad for him. Not bad enough that I want to trade him places and get braces again but bad enough that I spent a small fortune on applesauce, pudding, go-gurt, pre-made clam chowder from Safeway and ice cream.

I tried to reassure him on the way to The Old Spaghetti Factory last night that soon enough he wouldn't even notice his braces.

A new reality.

Adam and I know a young mother who is struggling with cancer. I was describing her situation to Adam and expressing my worry for her. I said, "Her life is just on hold while she has these treatments."

Adam said no, that is her life now.

But why?

Why suffering?

Why can't we all be healthy and strong...all the time. Why swollen eyes and cancer and stubbed toes?

I know a lot of answers but I'm not sure they're all satisfactory. Suffering makes us more empathetic, it makes us kinder, it makes us appreciate more, it makes us stronger.

Sometimes though maybe it just comes down to my favorite line from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat: Don't give up Joseph. Fight 'til you drop. We've read the book and you come out on top.

In the end, all will be well.

And I guess that's just going to have to be good enough.