Reality

Things have been hard.  This has been a season of upheaval and bad news and overwhelm.  It feels like most days, my plans are thwarted by some crisis or another (usually a minor but time consuming crisis) and for a task oriented planner like myself, that is the worst.

I had high hopes for these days.  I was going to be Productive (with a capital P).  I was going to fix everything that needed fixing and everyone who needed fixing.

I haven't.

Every day I have needed to confront the disconnect between my expectations and reality.

It has also occurred to me that I need to confront another reality.

That is the reality of how good things really are.  For one thing, I have the best husband in the world. How could I ever feel unhappy or frustrated when that is my reality?  He's the kind of person who makes me promise I'll wake him up when I can't sleep in the middle of the night.  (Because most nights I can't.)  And he means it.  He pulls himself from sleep and pulls me into the circle of his arms and makes me feel better.

I also have pretty great kids.  They aren't the perfect people I envisioned they would be when they were infants, but in a lot of ways, they exceeded my imagination.  I'm blessed to be their mother.

The other day, I was doing family history with Marie Louise.  She is fantastic.  She is this delightful mix of stiff upper lip British, fun-loving Australian and an experienced mother from the trenches.  She told me about her recent experiences in the temple and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Lately, when I've been reading and studying, I wonder, "But does this apply to me?"

It does.