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Tuesday, January 23, 2024

Narcissist, party of one

On Friday night, my friends and I talked about what we were like growing up and in high school.  It was so fun to try to explain our origin stories to each other, that I thought it would also be fun to write it out.

What can I say, I already blog.  I'm pretty self centered.

Here's what I was like in high school:

Smart, bookish, unathletic.  I had a brief stint on the basketball team but it was a small town and they didn't cut from JV.  I figured I'd play basketball because Marianne did, but then I realized I didn't like it.

There was a dichotomy in my social standing.  I was definitely not popular, but I was secure in my place.  I was a Dahl.  I had people.  Being a Dahl and also being my mother's daughter marinated me in enough self confidence that being unpopular felt like the natural order of things.  Yeah, I don't really like you that much either.

I didn't date (see above) although I went on a few girls' choice dances that ranged from fun to horrible.  

I had an over inflated notion of my own fashion sense.  I knew I dressed better than all my classmates and I was actually surprised when I didn't get voted best dressed in the senior class.

Surprised. (Thinking about my shock just makes me laugh now.  Silly Thelma!)

I read Seventeen magazine and shopped in Salt Lake City.  Every dollar I earned as a waitress in the summers went to Guess jeans and Esprit sweaters.  And Swatch watches.  

The person who did win best dressed was the most popular girl in our class and wore a lot of tank tops and shorts.

Besides my sisters and cousins, I had one best friend, Marie.  We were a lot alike: smart, bookish, unathletic.

We'd write stories longhand in notebooks and read them aloud to each other.  She also wrote poetry.  We liked a lot of the same things and were generally "other" in our class of 23 graduates.

Once we were laughing about something and talking about a sleepover we'd had and, overhearing, a boy said, "You guys are laughing?  Do you actually have fun?  I thought all you did was homework."

He said it in a really grumpy and begrudging way, like we shouldn't be having fun.

I cried, a lot, when I graduated from high school.  Change was hard for me to contemplate.  High school was also easy for me to get over.

I went to my ten year class reunion, but that is all.  I didn't leave anything there.

I was happily placed between an older sister, who was good at everything, and a younger sister, who was kind of a trouble maker but you would never guess it now because she is the straightest arrow in the quiver (although don't cross her). Both sisters got suspended from school at least once and Olivia also got in trouble for fighting.  I was boringly strait laced by contrast.

I was naturally compared to Marianne, most often by me.  She was taller, got better grades, was more athletic, had starring roles in the school plays, and she was the drummer everyone gathered around to listen to at basketball games.

I was sort of beige by comparison, but I think it was also really good for me.  It forced me to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do and if I still wanted to do it even though Marianne was super good at it.

High school is such an intense and formative time.  I'm grateful that I did have my people.  (And my clothes.  I looked cute, even though I was the only person who thought so....)

4 comments:

Olivia Cobian said...

I don't think anyone asked me. I would have voted for you as best dressed!

Marianne said...

Me too! Your older sister was also not popular and also only went to girls' choice dances. And she wasn't athletic, only freakishly tall.

Clarissa Johnson said...

It was so fun to read this! :) Nice to think of all you guys at good old Wells High back then!

Adam said...

I've seen your senior pictures. You were cute!

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