While I Wait

My restlessness was worsening and my sullen moodiness was ramping up.

(I go back and forth between Adam is maybe better to me than I deserve or Adam is definitely better to me than I deserve.)

He told me he would take me east of the mountains.  We could go camping.

Camping?

They still have hotels east of the mountains, right?

He told me hotels were on the table.

Then we looked at our calendar and it was problematic.  Thirty seconds of dreaming did help though.

So did spending the weekend with my family.  You can't be uncheered by spending time with your family...until they start to make me crazy and I growl at them to go to their rooms if they insist on wrestling/making shooting noises (Mark)/being silly.

Adam took me to dinner on Camano Island Saturday night.  It was picturesque and I told Adam, "We really do live in a beautiful place."

He complimented me on my lack of sullen moodiness.

One of the problems has been the sun drenched summer pages of magazines.  Everyone else is having summer and backyard barbecues and I feel left out.  Also everyone else is out of school and we still have a month to go.

It's like everyone gets to celebrate Christmas a month earlier than I do.

But with Christmas, I start planning in October.  Or September.  So I did what I do.

I made a plan.

My sisters (who have summer already/are out of school) have plans.  We're planners.  We were raised by a mother who structured constructive summer days that we hated.  (Well I did, Marianne probably loved it but you know how she is.)

I have to do the same (and I suspect/hope Emma will be the same way someday).  I can't help myself.  I love a happy little schedule with slots of time devoted to productive pursuits.  I have figured out an efficient way to divide housekeeping tasks.  I have stretches of silent reading time and I've narrowed down what books I want to read aloud to them.  I can guarantee we will abandon it all somewhere along the line in favor of slovenly time wasting.

But it's getting me through in the meantime.

That and the possibility that items will fall off our calendar in some spectacular way and Adam can make good on his promise to take me to sunshine.

(the hotel kind, not the camping kind)