Adam

I just got off the phone with Adam. He's in Connecticut. He described down to the big houses on the hill to the white swans on the water where he was. He said the leaves are almost gone. He said being there reminds him of being there with me. He said, "I think we miss Connecticut."

He said he'll try to take me with him next time.

I've been missing Adam.

He fixes whatever is ailing me.

Last night for example, after the kids were in bed I sat on the couch in my darkened living room with his warm voice in my ear and I told him all about it.

I told him about how hard it is to home school our children. I like to think it will be easier. I'll make it all work better. Someday this will all be calm and peaceful with children drinking up knowledge. But it's just hard. Hard emotional work.

And Adam understood.

I told him about how I broke the strap on my favorite brown mary janes. I told him that my first thought was to have his dad fix them. Then I remembered and felt crushed.

And Adam understood.

We talked about the details of raising our children...significant and otherwise. Mark's wildness, Braeden's twelve-year-old-ness, Emma.

And Adam understood.

Today I'm embarking on an adventure. As part of our school day, we're going to the Seattle Art Museum. I've been wanting to do it for a long time but have lacked the mettle. I am woeful at navigating and get lost and then panicked. My children are resilient and patiently wait for me to find the place. They steel themselves for the ordeal.

Adam fields calls from my cell phone when I'm lost. But today my brown-eyed GPS is in meetings in Connecticut and I'm on my own.

I purposefully planned this outing for when he was unavailable. Because of The Shoes. I am bestowing them with magical powers. They are going to give me courage and ability beyond my own to traverse downtown Seattle with ease.

That's what I'm banking on.

I told Adam.

He understood.