Today Thelma

My brain is wired to be a pre-crastinator.  I always look ahead.  I always think about what I can do now to make later better.

Emma is not like me.

Once she explained it to me.  She said, "I'm thinking about Today Emma instead of Tomorrow Emma."

I had never though about it that way.  And it seems...weirdly valid.  Who knew there was more than one way to be?

(I still think about Tomorrow Thelma more often than not.)  

Sometimes though, it is all Today Thelma.

Yesterday was a DAY.  I've never had such difficult students.  I had a student who was angry all morning.  The librarian told me two of them couldn't come back next week because they were so disruptive and defiant (one of them was my angry student).  At lunchtime, he was so mad about what they were serving for lunch he dumped his entire lunch in the garbage in a rage then he convulsed in sobs and my entire lunchtime was taken up talking him down.  I eventually got him to eat half of my lunch.  He pretty much hates me every day all day but he humbly thanked me for sharing my lunch.  I told him I was his friend and I wanted to help him. Maybe that will matter?  (Maybe not.)

The other one who has been barred from library was rotten all afternoon.  He caused trouble in PE and wouldn't come in from lunch recess.  He was super defiant and unwilling to work.

Finally he came up to my desk and told me he was unhappy.  He said someone had thrown a ball in the back of his head during PE and also, things at home were bad.  I told him I cared about him.  I told him I was sorry that things were bad at home but that I would try my best to make them good at school.  I told him he was smart (because he is).

These boys can be so naughty and hard to manage and then they sort of melt my heart too.  

I left school exhausted.  It is really hard to stretch and strain your patience to its limit all day long.  It is hard to just keep trying.

I came home and walked past the dirty dishes in the kitchen and the collection of packages inside the front door that really should be dealt with.  I did start a load of laundry, but then I painted my nails.

Last night, I decided to pay attention to Today Thelma.

I decided Tomorrow Thelma is on her own.