Matriarchs

I remember one night in Connecticut.  Adam and Braeden were sleeping and Emma and I were not.  She was a newborn bundle of pink goodness...but not sleeping.

I was sitting in our rocking chair, rocking her.  Her tiny fingers were wrapped around one of my fingers.  As I sat there in the dim light, looking down at our hands, I thought about my mother, rocking her babies in other dim light.  I thought about both my grandmothers and their mothers, in different rocking chairs, in other dim light, on and on up the family tree. I felt linked to them in this common work of nurturing babies.  I considered that maybe someday Emma would be rocking her own baby.

I am grateful for my matriarchs.  They are noble women who loved their children well.

Yesterday, for Braeden's birthday, both my mom and grandma called me because they were trying to track Braeden down.  (He was in class...I too had been trying to track him down.)  My mom, Geri, and my grandmas showed me how to be a grandma.  They love their grandchildren well.

In the brief conversation I had with my grandma last night, she thanked me again for the Christmas gift.  Then she mentioned the past several Christmas presents I've given her and thanked me for each one.  If there's something I can guarantee in this world, it is that my grandma loves me.

My grandma Dahl loves me too.  She showed her love in kind words, showing up and making things for me. If I ever made a statement, she'd remark emphatically, agreeably, "Well, I'll say!"  Is there anything nicer?  My children are also assured of their grandmothers' love.  That, in turn, makes me feel loved.

So much love.

Where does it stop? 

It doesn't.

When Liberty and Nikki were married, when they were looking into the mirrors in the celestial room, I considered my granddaughter.  I considered generations extending on both sides.  How can I hold so much love?

I can't.

It leaks out my eyes.

I'm grateful for my matriarchs.  They hold the line.  They rock the babies and make the quilts and place the phone calls and give the compliments.  They've shown me how to grandmother.

I hope I can measure up.

Now, pardon me while I post excessive pictures....

Geri leading the charge of whitewater rafting

 This picture kind of makes me laugh because my grandma and I both look so unhappy.  We weren't.  Adam just looks handsome and SO YOUNG!

Pikkujoulu

Grandkids night

My mom's summer party

A fake snowstorm at the Vancouver Aquarium

At a scout function honoring Linn

Braeden and me visiting Grandma and Grandpa Dahl

Grandma Jaynes, surrounded by great grandchildren

Grandma and Grandpa Jaynes; Marianne and me

Great Grandma Jaynes, me and a bunch of second cousins

my mom giving us a tour in Nauvoo

the girls, posing where the Relief Society began

my mom, surrounded by granddaughters